Hey all!
I am here to vent since it helps me clear my head and feel normal. After years of being in social isolation with almost no interaction with ' friends ' at a very prime year when I really dream about having cool trips or moments with them, gives me insane Fear of Missing Out.
I turned down 2 different groups in one month when I started meeting my old friends all of a sudden after 2 or something years. I was so sensitive and excited about it that when I cancelled the first one due to monetary reasons, I literally walked them some distance just sort of requesting them to understand my issues and not feel bad about my decision. They haven't talked with me since that incident.
The other group is better but I have to turn they guys down because of not getting permission from my home. I feel so bad about it. I feel so angry as well. I literally want to apologise really bad because I am cancelling the plan after having agreed to it as well as being one of the main guys who supported it. Man, I feel so bad. It's also like I fear the ' slipping away ' at the moment as the past few years have made me afraid of that. I don't want to miss out. I don't want to end up lonely again. I don't want them to misjudge.
I can sort of go and nobody would stop me. It's just that they do not consider it a safe trip of sort. It is very safe. I sort of want it to be done to uphold my family's decision. I don't want to go and then feel bad about it later. They would support me if I go but they don't like me going. I'd just not go even though they'd be ungrateful for it.
My life sucks so bad with everything as it is, then I have to make more bad decisions to upgrade to ' worse class '.
Good night to anybody reading this. Thankyou so much for taking the time.
Bye!
I am here to vent since it helps me clear my head and feel normal. After years of being in social isolation with almost no interaction with ' friends ' at a very prime year when I really dream about having cool trips or moments with them, gives me insane Fear of Missing Out.
I turned down 2 different groups in one month when I started meeting my old friends all of a sudden after 2 or something years. I was so sensitive and excited about it that when I cancelled the first one due to monetary reasons, I literally walked them some distance just sort of requesting them to understand my issues and not feel bad about my decision. They haven't talked with me since that incident.
The other group is better but I have to turn they guys down because of not getting permission from my home. I feel so bad about it. I feel so angry as well. I literally want to apologise really bad because I am cancelling the plan after having agreed to it as well as being one of the main guys who supported it. Man, I feel so bad. It's also like I fear the ' slipping away ' at the moment as the past few years have made me afraid of that. I don't want to miss out. I don't want to end up lonely again. I don't want them to misjudge.
I can sort of go and nobody would stop me. It's just that they do not consider it a safe trip of sort. It is very safe. I sort of want it to be done to uphold my family's decision. I don't want to go and then feel bad about it later. They would support me if I go but they don't like me going. I'd just not go even though they'd be ungrateful for it.
My life sucks so bad with everything as it is, then I have to make more bad decisions to upgrade to ' worse class '.
Good night to anybody reading this. Thankyou so much for taking the time.
Bye!
