How do u find morally good decision where every option suck?

[LilGhost]

How does one chose morally best, but not completely fucking you over decision?
I have no problems when it comes to black and white situations. I am asking about situation, where you cant do the "moral saint" decision and have to find "best of worse". Like. I have a choice to make, and I will have to cause my friends some pain. But I am trying to find ways to cause less of it. How do you determine what will cause less of pain? Or what in two morally unpleasant decisions will be the best of it?
Srry if thats to vague, id have to post a whole essay no one would read in order to explain my situation. If you can just share your story of how you chose between two bad/grey area/painful for others (where you werent sure which of options be less painful) options, I would appreciate it ^^

 

[hurts2b]

Figure out what you value most. What's the most important value you would like your actions to reflect? Which actions reflect which values? Are there any that feel more intuitively correct? If so, figure out why. That will tell you what to prioritize in situations where there's no clear/right answer.

 

[_Gollum_]

A heuristic I find helpful when making moral decisions in situations where all options are bad is asking myself, "Which worst-case scenario could I live with?" That is, when you imagine the worst, reasonably likely outcome of each decision, which one would you rather deal with? Which error would you rather make? Another one that helps me is "If I imagine myself 5 years from now [theoretically, even if you don't plan on being alive by then], which decision will I have regretted making more?"

 

[TransientEternal]

If both options cause equal amounts of pain to your friends then just choose the one that will benefit you more/hurt you less.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Roll a die until you dont contest the result. Life is a game anyway

 

[Scythe]

If you truly can't determine which one is morally better, pick the one that benefits you the most. Looking at it philosophically, the least amount of negativitiy caused would factor you into the equation, so picking the one that causes you the least amount of pain if you don't know how it affects your friends/think it's about the same is morally correct.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you know your friend's feelings about it? Is it something you can talk to them about? If you end up needing to make the decision that will hurt them, you could at least try to forewarn them or, explain to them why you feel like you need to make the decision. So- at least they know you tried to avoid hurting them and didn't want to or, didn't do it callously- without thought. Would they likely understand why you made the decision in the end?

If it's favouring one person over another, I don't think it's great to hurt the one who will likely be less angry necessarily although- that makes sense. But, it can hurt in multiple ways when you feel like someone has taken advantage of your better nature. It's hard to comment though, without knowing the circumstances- roughly.

 

[whatsleftover]

Roll a die until you dont contest the result. Life is a game anyway

i think you SHOULD contest the result. flipping a coin or rolling a dice would show you how you feel about the option. when it lands on the side you subconsciously desire the least, you would be able to tell, which would give you the guidance you need to make a decision you align with better.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

i think you SHOULD contest the result. flipping a coin or rolling a dice would show you how you feel about the option. when it lands on the side you subconsciously desire the least, you would be able to tell, which would give you the guidance you need to make a decision you align with better.

Well yea. I did say until you dont contest it

 

[whatsleftover]

Well yea. I did say until you dont contest it

i read it wrong, my fault