Help How do I know I have an eating disorder?

[delta2]

I don't wanna jump the gun and say I have one or anything. I still get hungry and all, but the second it comes time to actually eat, I suddenly lose my appetite. Forcing myself to eat it anyway makes me nauseous and my jaw aches just trying to chew. When I'm not forcing myself to eat, chewing and swallowing makes me feel absolutely disgusting. A lot of the time it's after I cook. All this build up of being absolutely ravenous to the point where I'm in immense pain just to finish cooking and feeling too exhausted to put anything in my stomach. Sometimes I get all those hunger pains and it feels like food isn't even the answer (I don't know how else to explain it). Outside of trying to avoid hunger pains, I feel like I've lost all desire to eat. It feels like such a hassle. Can someone with an eating disorder (or knowledgeable of them) provide some insight as to what it's actually like just to put my mind ant ease? open to tips too. I've thought about investing in a blender and only making smoothies, but I'm not sure if I could stomach that.

So far the only things I can think of that don't have to do with an eating disorder are
- I don't smoke weed as much anymore
- I recently came off of Effexor
- I'm depressed

 

[ignorableaurochs]

my experience of eating disorders is obsessive behaviour around monitoring and controlling one's intake (bulimia in my case, mostly 'recovered' in that I do not purge often any more but still have a lot of psychological baggage from it). while there are other eating disorders I know less about than anorexia and bulimia, what you're describing doesn't immediately remind me of that experience. I will not dismiss it out of hand, but offer you some insight into what I know. can you describe to me what you mean by 'disgusting'? are you preoccupied by body image or eating the 'right' thing? do you control or monitor your intake? do you engage in compensatory behaviours around food eg purging, exercise, or starvation? all of those would be hints of an ED.

it sounds like your appetite issues may be more physiological, though I don't want to put words in your mouth. loss of appetite can be associated with depression (that is how I first became underweight, after which I developed my eating disorder proper) which may go some way to explaining your experience. in addition, for some people (myself included), fasting or restricted intake can paradoxically kill your appetite. so, it may be that the fact you haven't been eating regularly is self-reinforcing. this is why eating disorder recovery programmes often have you eating on a schedule. small, regular snacks can also be helpful in this regard. it can feel very challenging at first for many reasons.

the medication changes are a plausible factor eg if weed was contributing to your appetite. if you are losing a lot of weight from this and feel comfortable seeing a doctor (since this is the recovery forum), it may be worth checking in with a doctor.