Help How do i get over SI?

[KiraNosferatu]

hello everyone!! I'm new here, been lurking since yesterday.
i've tried to jump like five times now but every time i pussy out.
i have been looking into PSH aswell as the night night method, but i don't have materials for the former. So I'm tied inbetween jumping and night night/the reef knot method.
any help on how to fight SI will be much appreciated!!!

 

[KiraNosferatu]

If your SI is that strong, I'd probably give up on jumping. Imo it's one of the hardest methods since you're combining both the instinctual fear of dying and heights/falling. It's also an unreliable method unless it's from a very tall height. I also pussied out of jumping so I feel you.

I've seen people say that taking anxiety meds can help and/or getting high in some way can help, and from personal experience it's not difficult to get prescribed them so that might be an option. The good news is that once your brain realises that you're dying, your SI basically shuts off. Best of luck to you.

tysm!!
but that would mean—there's possibly some kind of method that makes the brain go "oh shit i'm dying shut off the SI" as fast as possible, right? what do you think that would be? like something that ensures you're already in the process of dying before the hesitation kicks in.

also who's your pfp?? used to be rly into vkei!!

 

[sixthgun]

tysm!!
but that would mean—there's possibly some kind of method that makes the brain go "oh shit i'm dying shut off the SI" as fast as possible, right? what do you think that would be? like something that ensures you're already in the process of dying before the hesitation kicks in.

also who's your pfp?? used to be rly into vkei!!

Not sure if I can give specifics on here (I've been here for two years and the rules still confuse me lol) but if you search methods you'll see a few that meet that criteria. The main problem is that they're often not super accessible, but if you don't have an urgent deadline you have to die by, it might be worth waiting just because backing out of some methods can leave you with lifelong disabilities and a lot of pain. I've heard that if you order some of them, the police might come by for a wellness check, so if you live with other people keep that in mind. As long as you've not ordered anything illegal they won't do much though.

Ideally you should avoid methods that involve natural human fears like drowning, heights, fire, etc. If you get access to certain chemicals which I will not name (although there are threads on them) it can be easier to convince your brain that you're not dying, and apparently you'll quickly feel quite relaxed.

I'm personally planning on getting drunk and taking a bunch of my meds to help calm me before I do it. I'm also considering PSH.

Also it's Uruha from the GazettE! They're my favourite band. It's good (but also sad, I suppose) to see other vkei fans on here.

 

[KiraNosferatu]

Not sure if I can give specifics on here (I've been here for two years and the rules still confuse me lol) but if you search methods you'll see a few that meet that criteria. The main problem is that they're often not super accessible, but if you don't have an urgent deadline you have to die by, it might be worth waiting just because backing out of some methods can leave you with lifelong disabilities and a lot of pain. I've heard that if you order some of them, the police might come by for a wellness check, so if you live with other people keep that in mind. As long as you've not ordered anything illegal they won't do much though.

Ideally you should avoid methods that involve natural human fears like drowning, heights, fire, etc. If you get access to certain chemicals which I will not name (although there are threads on them) it can be easier to convince your brain that you're not dying, and apparently you'll quickly feel quite relaxed.

I'm personally planning on getting drunk and taking a bunch of my meds to help calm me before I do it. I'm also considering PSH.

Also it's Uruha from the GazettE! They're my favourite band. It's good (but also sad, I suppose) to see other vkei fans on here.

thanksss!!!! and oooohhh it's gazette... heard of them...... never listened to much "new" vkei, i do like deadman alot though.

but yeah, i see. my problem with ordering chemicals is that i have no money at all. so my only bets are to either do something that works with stuff i have at home, or find a suicide partner that might have SN and/or other chemicals. (I would really not like the latter option though as i'm scared dying together with someone else will do something to my soul that i don't want to happen.)

 

[sixthgun]

thanksss!!!! and oooohhh it's gazette... heard of them...... never listened to much "new" vkei, i do like deadman alot though.

but yeah, i see. my problem with ordering chemicals is that i have no money at all. so my only bets are to either do something that works with stuff i have at home, or find a suicide partner that might have SN and/or other chemicals. (I would really not like the latter option though as i'm scared dying together with someone else will do something to my soul that i don't want to happen.)

Yeah that's valid, I would also be skeptical of a suicide partner because you never know what intentions they have. I remember on shtwt some people had cutting buddies and when they tried to back out, they got pressured and guilted into continuing. I wonder if something like that would happen with a suicide partner. I'm also spiritual so I get that aspect of it too.

As for the money issue, whatever you do, do not use credit cards or avoid paying rent/bills to buy things if you get desperate. I've seen people do this and end up fucked because they couldn't go through with it.

 

[KiraNosferatu]

Yeah that's valid, I would also be skeptical of a suicide partner because you never know what intentions they have. I remember on shtwt some people had cutting buddies and when they tried to back out, they got pressured and guilted into continuing. I wonder if something like that would happen with a suicide partner. I'm also spiritual so I get that aspect of it too.

As for the money issue, whatever you do, do not use credit cards or avoid paying rent/bills to buy things if you get desperate. I've seen people do this and end up fucked because they couldn't go through with it.

i'm a neet and live with my parents so rent is thankfully not an issue...
but no job so it's a dead end anyways.

about the suicide partner thing that's partially what i think too—i mean you just don't know the intentions, which is the second reason i could only ever have another woman as a suicide partner imo.
because first off, DYING with another man? like... no that would royally fuck everything over.
secondly—anyone capable of physically overpowering you that agrees to doing this with you likely has hidden intentions that would fuck everything over even further.
with another woman it would
just be kind of a sisterhood type of thing which is entirely fine i think....

sorry for rambling like this it keeps me sane

 

[sixthgun]

i'm a neet and live with my parents so rent is thankfully not an issue...
but no job so it's a dead end anyways.

about the suicide partner thing that's partially what i think too—i mean you just don't know the intentions, which is the second reason i could only ever have another woman as a suicide partner imo.
because first off, DYING with another man? like... no that would royally fuck everything over.
secondly—anyone capable of physically overpowering you that agrees to doing this with you likely has hidden intentions that would fuck everything over even further.
with another woman it would
just be kind of a sisterhood type of thing which is entirely fine i think....

sorry for rambling like this it keeps me sane

Nah don't worry about rambling, that's mainly what most of us use this site for. I'm a semi-neet too so I feel you there (finished college and am just bedrotting and leeching off my mum until university starts provided I get in, if not I ctb next month lol) I wish you the best of luck if you decide on a method <3

 

[KiraNosferatu]

Nah don't worry about rambling, that's mainly what most of us use this site for. I'm a semi-neet too so I feel you there (finished college and am just bedrotting and leeching off my mum until university starts provided I get in, if not I ctb next month lol) I wish you the best of luck if you decide on a method <3

what's college like, i'm curious. i never did anything past 10th grade of highschool... and never will lol
that's really fucking pretentious to say but idk i wanted to..
but yeah i would prefer some kind of hanging/choking where i lose concsiousness before anything happens.
i successfully found my carotids once and almost fainted with a couple seconds of finger pressure but since then—nothing. can't find em. so kind of stalled on that :(

 

[sixthgun]

I personally enjoyed aspects of it but also it really wasn't all that it's chalked up to be. I was miserable for most of the time that I was there. If I had the money I just would've independently studied and paid for my exams myself. Honestly most of the time I was there was just a waste, and to add insult to injury I had a 1hr commute each way. You're not missing out on much to be honest.

I'm hoping (assuming I get in) university will be better since I'll be moving out and I'll be studying a subject I actually care about, if not I get £10.8k from student finance that I can blow on drugs and alcohol before I delete myself lol

I don't know why but even just feeling my carotids freaks me out, I'm forcing myself to get used to feeling them every day so I can have a decent trial run before I ctb. Hanging is my preferred method also because of time restraints. I've heard that most of the chemicals people use to ctb can take over a month to arrive if you're even successful in buying them. I wish assisted suicide was readily available so we could just skip this shit...

 

[KiraNosferatu]

I personally enjoyed aspects of it but also it really wasn't all that it's chalked up to be. I was miserable for most of the time that I was there. If I had the money I just would've independently studied and paid for my exams myself. Honestly most of the time I was there was just a waste, and to add insult to injury I had a 1hr commute each way. You're not missing out on much to be honest.

I'm hoping (assuming I get in) university will be better since I'll be moving out and I'll be studying a subject I actually care about, if not I get £10.8k from student finance that I can blow on drugs and alcohol before I delete myself lol

I don't know why but even just feeling my carotids freaks me out, I'm forcing myself to get used to feeling them every day so I can have a decent trial run before I ctb. Hanging is my preferred method also because of time restraints. I've heard that most of the chemicals people use to ctb can take over a month to arrive if you're even successful in buying them. I wish assisted suicide was readily available so we could just skip this shit...

yeah it sucks.... all the bullshit we're doing here for something that should just be a right.

me personally though, i think it's a very nice sensation. it's just shit that i can't find them again.
i always liked getting choked by my love
i think it would probably be my favorite way to go—get hammered with all kinds of drugs first then tie something around my neck and die on my bed while smelling his stuff. would be much better than FSH or PSH...i miss him

I personally enjoyed aspects of it but also it really wasn't all that it's chalked up to be. I was miserable for most of the time that I was there. If I had the money I just would've independently studied and paid for my exams myself. Honestly most of the time I was there was just a waste, and to add insult to injury I had a 1hr commute each way. You're not missing out on much to be honest.

I'm hoping (assuming I get in) university will be better since I'll be moving out and I'll be studying a subject I actually care about, if not I get £10.8k from student finance that I can blow on drugs and alcohol before I delete myself lol

I don't know why but even just feeling my carotids freaks me out, I'm forcing myself to get used to feeling them every day so I can have a decent trial run before I ctb. Hanging is my preferred method also because of time restraints. I've heard that most of the chemicals people use to ctb can take over a month to arrive if you're even successful in buying them. I wish assisted suicide was readily available so we could just skip this shit...

anywayssss i'm getting reallyyyyuuu sleepy now so i will head off to dream kingdom now.
thanks for talking to me today! ur awesome!!