How do I ctb before my parents die?

[Close_to_freedom]

I've stayed around for them, but I don't feel that I can anymore. They're in their 70s. My dad has a decade maybe. My mom could hit 100 probably. I only see them a handful of times a year.

I was adopted by them when I was a child. I had been abused horribly BEFORE and later ended up in foster care where they found me. My life is ruined because of the effects of the abuse. Showering me with love over the years has had no effect on me. I've never told them that of course. Therapy and medication have done nothing. There is no cure, just decades more of suffering.

I have no friends (don't want any except to relieve me of my boredom) and can't work because of all my mental problems. This is a cursed life.

 

[mathieu]

I'm planning to ctb with two living parents...I justify it like.. They will grieve, but it won't ruin their lives. My parents are strong people. But I have lost someone close to me to suicide and years later I still feel so much pain and miss her so badly. So I do think parents will carry that sorrow with them forever.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I don't know 100% pf your story but I say fuck them for abusing you. I get the feeling of a cursed life too and I respect your chocie

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I'm planning to ctb with two living parents...I justify it like.. They will grieve, but it won't ruin their lives. My parents are strong people. But I have lost someone close to me to suicide and years later I still feel so much pain and miss her so badly. So I do think parents will carry that sorrow with them forever.

My parents are sensitive.

I don't know 100% pf your story but I say fuck them for abusing you. I get the feeling of a cursed life too and I respect your chocie

They didn't abuse me. They saved me from a life that would've been much worse.

 

[ssaaahmo]

I'm sorry, I misunderstood. I'm also sorry if my earlier comment made you angry, that wasn't my intention

 

[Passersby]

I know what you mean by this. It is a terrible situation to be in. I am also in similar circumstances. Everyone's situation is different but you just have to decide for yourself and I think it depends on how bad your suffering is and whether or not you have hit your breaking point. Also how many yrs you would be waiting on them to die verses your suffering. So it's very personal. Me I have been passed my breaking point now for about 4 yrs. so basically I exist everyday well beyond my maximum breaking point. I exist with constantly wanting to end my life. Every day that I don't do it is another wasted day and just continue to be stuck in the cage. So I don't really know what to tell you other then I can relate.