How can I avoid spreading so much negativity?

[noname223]

I am a very pessimistic and often depressed person. I tend to negative thinking patterns. But I don't want to make you even more depressed. This is why I shared some optimistic threads in recovery. I forced me to spread some positive vibes as compensation for my whining in the other sections.
But this often does not resemble my mood. Sometimes I am even nihilistic. When I have a better mood I usually don't spend my time in this forum. Maybe it would be good when people who recovered shared their stories in recovery in order to give other people hope. Some already do that and I am happy for them.

 

[TooConscious]

The real spreaders are say the people who control the media for example.
You are someone going through hard times, doing a fine job at keeping yourself together and don't let them win making you feel guilt that's how they steal more of your fucking energy as if they don't stomp you down enough.

 

[Umbrella Weather]

I don't have anything approaching advice, though I wish I did: I really do, as it would help us both.

I can only offer commiseration... I feel as if I only have a negative impact on the world, that my entire existence is a detriment to humanity. Indeed, through therapy, I have begun to understand that any contact I have with others is felt to be ultimately detrimental... In fact, this tendency of mine to avoid interacting with people because it only will spawn regret and rumination if I do, has given me the new phrase: "leaking into the world". If I accidentally leak into the world my error, my misplacement, my non-belonging, by asking a question of a service worker or accidentally getting in someone's way, I am reduced to tears for days... I leaked into the world. Though if I can just get by without any of them noticing me... I'll be alright.

Again, I have no words of encouragement... Only those of commiseration. And, of course, because I posted this: I will feel regret, embarrassment, and shame for days to come... But I leaked into the world on your behalf :) And so it goes...