How bad would it be to leave basically an entire book-length as a Suicide note?

[Gomomon]

I think this might be a really bad idea, but I have like 70+ pages of just straight-up a document with my plans, my thoughts, my life, and how I feel about the people in it. I fear it's mostly negative, but it also gets a lot off my chest. The document is extremely long and personal, but atp I don't really care who reads it. I might even link it here if anyone has literally 3 hours to spend reading someone's ramble and lose their marbles. I'm just wondering if I should even leave it for anyone, leave it for certain people specifically, delete it altogether, or just keep it in my Google Docs in case they want to find it, and leave nothing go out silently. I wouldn't want to hurt them too badly, but I also want them to understand why I did it and how I saw the world ig. Any thoughts?

 

[unluckysadness]

I think that the longer your note is, the best it is for your family and friends. So they can fully understand your choice and you'll have a lot of arguments. My note is very short (one sheet just for my family) but if I had the energy to do it, I'd like to write my autobiography for them. Because people who stay will worry a lot and ask "why did he/she do it ?". With a long note, they have a lot of answers. I don't know if it makes sense, just my thoughts.

 

[thehorizons]

I feel that the more I write the more SI I will have when I have to drench up the good memories I had with them. I'm going to keep them brief as a one-pager and then CTB after a period I finish writing them.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

Two things:

1) "You can't please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha

2) There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, and nothing concealed that will not be brought into the light. (Luke 8:17)

Therefore, do not concern yourself with the minds of others.

 

[elenaboo25]

It's a nice idea. I'll probably be leaving my autobiography.

 

[Aphid]

I think this might be a really bad idea, but I have like 70+ pages of just straight-up a document with my plans, my thoughts, my life, and how I feel about the people in it. I fear it's mostly negative, but it also gets a lot off my chest. The document is extremely long and personal, but atp I don't really care who reads it. I might even link it here if anyone has literally 3 hours to spend reading someone's ramble and lose their marbles. I'm just wondering if I should even leave it for anyone, leave it for certain people specifically, delete it altogether, or just keep it in my Google Docs in case they want to find it, and leave nothing go out silently. I wouldn't want to hurt them too badly, but I also want them to understand why I did it and how I saw the world ig. Any thoughts?

I know it's weird but im makin a short point and click game as a suicide note, which is really dumb but it'll be the best medium for me.

 

[Gomomon]

I know it's weird but im makin a short point and click game as a suicide note, which is really dumb but it'll be the best medium for me.

That's actually the most awesome thing ever.

 

[historiaegiptu]

I think longer notes give more closure to people who read them, it will make it easier to understand. Im writing something like a diary/journal, i want to fill up the whole notebook but idk if i wont burn it later lol. It would be really interesting to read if you end up posting it here

 

[Aphid]

That's actually the most awesome thing ever.

bless.

 

[morina]

Hm, I think the longer the note, the more anchors of regret could your loved ones see ("why didn't we do XY differently?"). Though on the other hand, having more closure on what was going on within you may be beneficial to them. I think you should just leave behind what expresses you best, so if you want to basically write an autobiography, that should be fine. Your loss will overshadow all other feelings for them anyway.

I know it's weird but im makin a short point and click game as a suicide note, which is really dumb but it'll be the best medium for me.

Also that's a somewhat macabre, but also really cool idea! Good luck with it!

 

[Aphid]

Also that's a somewhat macabre, but also really cool idea! Good luck with it!

Thank you, if i finish it I'll send it here.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

Before I found this forum, I used to read a lot of short news stories about people who had committed suicide. It seemed to me that people who had written extremely long suicide notes before they died would usually have it dismissed as "ramblings"- for all I know maybe the notes were, people who are suicidal tend to devolve into psychosis- but I always hated how it didn't seem like they were being heard out & were having all their hard work trashed just because they were dead & couldn't insist upon being heard anymore.

 

[UserFromNowhere]

I have a diary I've been keeping. I've written suicide notes before, but keep feeling they don't encapsulate what I truly feel or that my perspective has changed. I keep thinking that, if I can't bring myself to write a note that will endure and last, and will be a reflection of what I truly feel, then the diary should serve as a long, long suicide note to explain everything. I imagine they're going to find it anyways, so it won't change anything, I just hope they'll realize everything I went through and how they couldn't have helped. But I also keep secrets from any note I write, any passage in the diary, so perhaps it'll never be accurate.

 

[nihacc]

You won't be able to experience your loved ones' emotions after you leave, so it wouldn't necessarily be a "good" or "bad" idea. If writing a note is something that gives you more peace, you should go right ahead. Maybe leaving a large note will allow them to understand your thought process much more thoroughly for closure... if that's the kind of thing you want, since you stated that you didn't want to hurt them too bad.

I've been considering something similar. My note is currently at 8 pages, starting off with a whole 2 pages of legal stuff and wishes. Then on to an essay about my diminishing mental state, and the rest is a collection of essays about the world, leaning heavily toward militant nihilism.