Hilarious

[Oblivion Access]

I need to get a job and work to have money to CTB. But my aversion to work is so strong I end up hungry and homeless or at the mercy of others.

I need people to not be crushed by loneliness. But my constant toxicity and suicide talk scares people away.

I quit drugs to get my head straight. But with my cognition unimpaired I once more realize, it is all pointless striving. Existing for existence's sake. Life is a cycle of constant needs and wants none of us ask for. Can't fulfill them? Suffer. Do fulfil them? Meh, wasn't worth the effort (in my experience), here's some more needs and wants though. A big cosmic joke; deranged laughter and self-mutilation.

Is it not lucid? Is it not rational? To want to leave a world people like me are despised for things entirely outside our control? I don't want to work on myself anymore, I don't want to try and get better anymore, I don't want treatment. Save the precious resources for someone not so repulsed by existence.

The absence of euthanasia for all is ridiculous when the choice for most people is slavery, parasitism or a risky attempt that might just make everything worse.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that it is perfectly rational wanting to exit a world that is as horrible as this. Life is mostly just pain and suffering after all. As well as that I see life as just being a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it, existence is completely unnecessary. I think it is cruel how people are denied the option of a peaceful exit and they have to resort to methods that could fail and leave them in a worse condition. Your feelings are understandable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Oblivion Access]

I believe that it is perfectly rational wanting to exit a world that is as horrible as this. Life is mostly just pain and suffering after all. As well as that I see life as just being a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it, existence is completely unnecessary. I think it is cruel how people are denied the option of a peaceful exit and they have to resort to methods that could fail and leave them in a worse condition. Your feelings are understandable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thank you. It is a bit sad how something as simple as your message is more affirming than anything I heard from mental health professionals or people I've known for years telling me some variation of "it gets better", "you don't really mean that" or "you're too negative". Like I get dealing with me isn't fun, but being me is even less so. I appreciate your response.