Hidden drug abuse, no help self hate/harm

[mytoxicreality]

I've really started to enjoy hurting myself, cigarette burns specifically. I used to hit myself in the face and head. But my ears started ringing real bad and i litterally almost knocked myself out. My head is so loud i can't Shut out negative thoughts I'm such an empath I feel so much pain from everyone else it affects me like crazy. I also have a drug problem and I'm sober from opiates for like 5 months but I want to relapse so bad. I miss being numb and so unable to feel. Without it everything is so much. I can't feel right. I hate it. Bout to leave earf. But my suicide will be impulsive. I want to die but I love life. But I'm not the one who controls the emotions there's 3 of me in my head it's fucking weird I'm starting to feel so uncomfortable in my body I just want out.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I can imagine how opiates would provide some relief… I'm sorry that you're in such pain

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you have to endure. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be going through that. I hope that in whatever happens you find relief from suffering.