Does anyone have any tips on making my suicide easy on my partner? For short context: I attempted (a non-method, unaware it was at the time) last November. He stayed with me through in-patient. He's so patient, and gentle, and loving. But, since I was a little girl I've been broken and no amount of therapy or medication has helped. I'm ready to go and I have the SN to accomplish it. I have a suicide note I've been writing to him, and one to my work of all things lol. They've been amazing (I work in behavioral health ironically.) and supportive of me for the past year+. He is knows very well I'm depressed and have suicidal thoughts on occasion, but he doesn't know I'm actively planning and ready to go now. Just want any tips that could help soften the blow I guess? Worrying about how he will react/be when I'm gone is my only thing keeping me going at the moment.
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ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 744
That's a beautiful thought.
I have a question to you sweetheart, can your love for him be the anchor for you to live for him because he really loves you?
My suggestion is, if there's a way to live for him. By all means look for it.. not everyone has the luck to get a loving partner like him
Sadly, I don't think so. Life is so painful despite everything going well. I have a good job that I love and is supportive. I have a loving partner. I'm still so depressed and tortured in my brain. I'm so tired of trying to live anymore.
ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 744
I'm from India, and India, there's a concept, to sacrifice for the one we love.
Can you sacrifice your intention to ctb for the one who loves you so much
I can understand dear sister
I can understand your pain and if you are in that situation it speaks a lot about what you are going through
If that's the case, talk to him, that you wanna go. Keep nudging him until he agrees. And use the SN when you think he has loosened up
I think if he gets wind of me going he'll 302 (involuntarily) put me into in-patient. Which I can't blame him for.I'm from India, and India, there's a concept, to sacrifice for the one we love.
Can you sacrifice your intention to ctb for the one who loves you so much
I can understand dear sister
I can understand your pain and if you are in that situation it speaks a lot about what you are going through
If that's the case, talk to him, that you wanna go. Keep nudging him until he agrees. And use the SN when you think he has loosened up
ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 744
My goodness
In that case,all you can do is be selfish.
If he can't understand your pain, you should not understand his pain
Go for CTB
Write a loving letter so he feels comforted
Use the SN you've got.. don't think of anything else after writing that letter to him
Don't wait. And just strictly implement it
God bless you dear sister.
I pray to god that you can finally find your peaceLast edited:
dust-in-the-wind
Animal Lover
- Aug 24, 2024
- 1,144
I have also suffered serious depression all my adult life despite having a good life. Is there any specific reason for your depression and what kind of thoughts does your brain feed you? I just wanted to compare notes on how someone else experiences depression for no good reason.
It's like. No matter what I feel like a burden on others lives. I feel so unhappy despite having an amazing, loving, and supportive partner. A job that supports me and everything. I feel like any moment I'm left to my own thoughts they come in and I'm thinking about how much I hate myself despite knowing I'm a caring and nice person. Life is just exhausting to continue living in this brain which I thought maybe would be fixed through medications, or life/environment getting better. But even still I'm just as depressed and self-hating as ever.
dust-in-the-wind
Animal Lover
- Aug 24, 2024
- 1,144
Thank you for responding. I am so sorry you feel this way. It must be so awful. I know there is nothing I can say to make you not feel that way. Our brains can really fuck up our perceptions. My depression is more existential in that my reality sees life as a cruel joke filled with so much suffering and less joy. And then there is no point to it anyway since we all will eventually be dead. I don't believe there is an afterlife but I could be wrong. I am 57 now and there is nothing to look forward to except what...all the horrors that come with old age? I intentionally had no children, as I didn't want to bring another being into what I consider hell. I was fortunate enough to have what people think is a "good life", but my mind sees it very differently. It's all pointless and I wish I had never been born to experience this. When I am dead, that will be the peace I seek with no more brain activity. I wish you well.
hooman57
kill me
- Aug 13, 2026
- 14
i dont mean to be insensitive or to disregard your feeling or desires
but ive been through similar feelings on the other side, from your partners perspective
all i know is that i would endure every single ounce of pain my partner ever has ever went through and will ever go through just to ensure theyd stay on this earth with me
he may or may not feel the same, i just wanted to share my thoughts
hooman57
kill me
- Aug 13, 2026
- 14
im glad for you, i hope his love may heal you as much as it can even if you pursue your plans. make the most of your love, its entirely unique and entirely specialSimilar threads
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