Help for dissociation?

[margomoors]

I think I've been dissociating lately. I don't remember the last time I've cried, but I know I'm still in a miserable state of mind. I'll still laugh with my family or friends, but it feels sort of empty and at least slightly fake. I don't feel empathy nearly as much as I did a couple of years ago. I don't feel bad for myself much either. I feel pretty empty. It doesn't feel bad or good. However, I don't feel like me. I don't feel like I'm Margo, but I'll still respond to the name and pretend. I feel like an imposter. I've dissociated before, but not often to this extent. I think this has lasted about a week, maybe two. But it has been on and off for about a year.

Has my dissociation worsened or might this be something else? I've considered therapy but I don't have the money or motivation and the ones in my area don't have a the cleanest track records.

 

[Yomyom]

It's definitely sounds like Derealization, it's only get worse with time (from experience)
Check with your health care insurance if You are eligible for psychological / psychiatric treatment, although it is difficult to find therapists yet I encourage you to persevere, as it will not be easier without treatment

 

[margomoors]

It's definitely sounds like Derealization, it's only get worse with time (from experience)
Check with your health care insurance if You are eligible for psychological / psychiatric treatment, although it is difficult to find therapists yet I encourage you to persevere, as it will not be easier without treatment

I'm not familiar with derealization. I'll certainly look into it, thank you. My insurance offers a little bit of mental health coverage, but the ones in my area that take my insurance have had issues with stuff like leaking patient's info or getting too close to their patients. My personal experiences with therapists aren't very comfortable either, but I might have to consider powering through it to figure out whats going on and for treatment options.