Venting Health is Wealth

[waiting93]

Just tired of dealing with poor physical health... whether its post concussion syndrome from many hits to the head.. neck pain from trauma, ibs, sibo and gastritis pain like no other like there's just always something , I can't just be healthy and stable for a long period of time. I want to have a life, my body just continues to make mine a living hell. If I didn't have my dad supporting me, I would of been gone a long time ago. The only thing holding me back is how much he's supported and been there for me while my body continues to shut down on me. I'm just tired of fighting and want to be symptom free. I want to escape this endless suffering, I can't keep living like this much longer. My mom is fed up with it and wants me to move out , and never has any empathy for me. I am educated I have two degrees, I am just not well enough to work and support myself and at this point, I don't know if I ever will be. I continue to grow older, I am now 25 and am trapped in misery with no improvement in sight. I'm a burden and don't know where to go from here. I am not going to ctb today and probably not in the next few weeks, but if I don't get better physically, I unfortunately don't see any other option.

 

[lizzywizzy09]

There's nothing more infuriating then illnesses impacting our quality of life, especially when young. I want to enjoy life and get in every experience I can but I'm in my 30's and have been putting up with this shit since adolescence. Enough is enough.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I can definitely relate to many points made above. Parents cause so much fucking trauma on their children. Like why even if have kids if that's how it's gonna go? Rhetorical. We are here for you, OP. My messages are open if you're feeling like chatting, otherwise please keep us updated if you want to. We care.

 

[waiting93]

I can definitely relate to many points made above. Parents cause so much fucking trauma on their children. Like why even if have kids if that's how it's gonna go? Rhetorical. We are here for you, OP. My messages are open if you're feeling like chatting, otherwise please keep us updated if you want to. We care.

I really appreciate the support. It means a lot. I just see all these people living their lives and having fun and here I am trying to get through the day without calling it quits from pain. I know everybody is fighting their battles, but it seems that unfortunately some people have it worse than others, whether its physical, mental health or both. I envy healthy people.

 

[destinationlosangel]

I totally understand what you're saying because its a similar situation with me too. Rare health issues and my father isn't making things any easier. Health truly is wealth. I am so sorry for what ur going thru. U mentioned ur dad has been taking care of u. Try to do anything it is that u can to fix your health and hold on for as long as u can for ur father.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I really appreciate the support. It means a lot. I just see all these people living their lives and having fun and here I am trying to get through the day without calling it quits from pain. I know everybody is fighting their battles, but it seems that unfortunately some people have it worse than others, whether its physical, mental health or both. I envy healthy people.

I just got back from a 2 hour night drive, and that's exactly what I was thinking cruising down the coast. All seemingly happy people with their families having fun by the beach. Something I never had nor ever will.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

So relatable, I'm in a similar position. Healthy and normal for my whole life, then suddenly get a horrible case of IBS right after I turned 24. It's crazy, when I first got sick it never even crossed my mind that this was something the doctor's couldn't just give me a pill and make it go away. I was so shocked when they told me this is something I'll need to 'manage' (endure) for the rest of my life. It took a while to really set in, that I'll never be healthy again. Health isn't valued until it's gone, then you'll forever miss what you once had. I don't even want to die, but I see no other options for myself. Living for decades longer until a natural death isn't a feasible possibility for me, not when I suffer every day.

 

[HopeToStay]

This is what's driving my suicidal ideation too - going through a big health scare and the signs aren't looking great.

You don't realise how important health is until it comes under threat.

Sure I'd made a mess of my life elsewhere but i still enjoyed it in my own little way, but at the minute nothing gives me joy - A cloud hangs over me all the time. The things i used to enjoy just remind me of when i wasn't getting these symptoms.

I'm still hopefully it'll turn out to be something benign but i'm preparing for the worse also.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I really appreciate the support. It means a lot. I just see all these people living their lives and having fun and here I am trying to get through the day without calling it quits from pain. I know everybody is fighting their battles, but it seems that unfortunately some people have it worse than others, whether its physical, mental health or both. I envy healthy people.

You got it, friend. And I meant it, feel free to reach out anytime if you'd like to talk. NO pressure to do so though. Just an open offer. It's hard as fuck to see people existing in the world as if the entire thing isn't figuratively burning (in some places, literally) and I truly don't understand people that have never logically considered an exit, for whatever reasons or worse, are fully against that kind of autonomy that we ALL deserve. I envy the healthy too. I can't imagine what it's like to live in a body with a brain that isn't out to get you on the daily.

 

[waiting93]

I totally understand what you're saying because its a similar situation with me too. Rare health issues and my father isn't making things any easier. Health truly is wealth. I am so sorry for what ur going thru. U mentioned ur dad has been taking care of u. Try to do anything it is that u can to fix your health and hold on for as long as u can for ur father.

Thank you for understanding. I am sorry you are suffering as well with rare health issues, wouldn't wish it on anybody I am trying do everything I can, I am just sick of our healthcare system, and trying to fix my health on my own has made it worse recently as I experimented with stuff that made it worse. I am from Canada and although its universal healthcare through taxes, we suffer from lack of doctors, extreme wait times and incompetence. I will keep holding on for my dad and family and trying but time is ticking... My parents also want to sell the house and leave the country next year so I really need to get healthy and be self sustainable or fold in the cards.

So relatable, I'm in a similar position. Healthy and normal for my whole life, then suddenly get a horrible case of IBS right after I turned 24. It's crazy, when I first got sick it never even crossed my mind that this was something the doctor's couldn't just give me a pill and make it go away. I was so shocked when they told me this is something I'll need to 'manage' (endure) for the rest of my life. It took a while to really set in, that I'll never be healthy again. Health isn't valued until it's gone, then you'll forever miss what you once had. I don't even want to die, but I see no other options for myself. Living for decades longer until a natural death isn't a feasible possibility for me, not when I suffer every day.

I didn't realize how many people would relate when I made this post. I am sorry you are going through that. Nobody really understands until it happens to them, it isn't just a minor stomach ache or something you can just push through, it can get debilitating and really decrease the quality of life. I relate 100%, I don't want to die either!! I just want to be healthy and get relief from this torturous body I am enslaved in. I wish I could somehow just numb my stomach and intestines out so I don't feel pain and then I can carry on with my life as was. Yeah don't get me started about the medical system, I've tried numerous medications, diets, have had atleast 5 scopes and am still suffering.

There's nothing more infuriating then illnesses impacting our quality of life, especially when young. I want to enjoy life and get in every experience I can but I'm in my 30's and have been putting up with this shit since adolescence. Enough is enough.

I feel you.. I've been dealing with some of my issues since I was 15 and after seeing many doctors, and trying different therapies, there has to come a time to throw in the towel and stop the suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's truly such a cruel existence where people experience such suffering all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[waiting93]

This is what's driving my suicidal ideation too - going through a big health scare and the signs aren't looking great.

You don't realise how important health is until it comes under threat.

Sure I'd made a mess of my life elsewhere but i still enjoyed it in my own little way, but at the minute nothing gives me joy - A cloud hangs over me all the time. The things i used to enjoy just remind me of when i wasn't getting these symptoms.

I'm still hopefully it'll turn out to be something benign but i'm preparing for the worse also.

Praying for you ! We take for granted living in a healthy functional body until it begins to shut down us . And nobody quite understands unless they are going through it themselves

 

[fallingtopieces]

So relatable, I'm in a similar position. Healthy and normal for my whole life, then suddenly get a horrible case of IBS right after I turned 24. It's crazy, when I first got sick it never even crossed my mind that this was something the doctor's couldn't just give me a pill and make it go away. I was so shocked when they told me this is something I'll need to 'manage' (endure) for the rest of my life. It took a while to really set in, that I'll never be healthy again. Health isn't valued until it's gone, then you'll forever miss what you once had. I don't even want to die, but I see no other options for myself. Living for decades longer until a natural death isn't a feasible possibility for me, not when I suffer every day.

IBS is a fuzzy diagnosis, and I would wager can be psychosomatic in certain cases. Consider how your gut/stomach feels when something really horrible happens that affects us emotionally. There are more studies now linking our mental and gut health. Imagine being stressed about social situations and needing to use the bathroom. The stress can create an upset stomach, but we might blame the upset stomach on something like IBS, and so the cycle feeds on itself.

My advice is read more about gut/mental health link and do the hard thing sooner that can help figure somethings out: an elimination diet.
This is not to say all gastrointestinal issues are in our head, definitely not. Bloodwork, a good doctor, etc... is always advised.

 

[Bear1234]

Dude I can't even tell you how much i relate. Im on this website because of my health issues. I got diagnosed with Interstitial cystitis a year ago and have been dealing with symptoms nonstop. 3 years prior I was dealing with stomach and pelvic health issues that led to surgeries (that last a few years too). Its just torture. I wanna be in good health so bad. Luckily I do have my resources on deck if I want to CTB but it makes me sad that I even have to consider this at the age of 27. Its just fucked. Any parents don't understand, well they do but they don't. My parents love me a lot and care and support me (especially my dad) but they think it will all get better (which i hope it does) but what if it doesn't? They never seem have an answer to that and tbh I don't thinking existing just to suffer for years is the solution. Sending you love and healing and my DMs are open if you ever want a friend or someone to talk to .

 

[waiting93]

IBS is a fuzzy diagnosis, and I would wager can be psychosomatic in certain cases. Consider how your gut/stomach feels when something really horrible happens that affects us emotionally. There are more studies now linking our mental and gut health. Imagine being stressed about social situations and needing to use the bathroom. The stress can create an upset stomach, but we might blame the upset stomach on something like IBS, and so the cycle feeds on itself.

My advice is read more about gut/mental health link and do the hard thing sooner that can help figure somethings out: an elimination diet.
This is not to say all gastrointestinal issues are in our head, definitely not. Bloodwork, a good doctor, etc... is always advised.

Mines not psychosomatic . I have been diagnosed with sibo through a hydrogen methane breathe test and have gotten treatment for it many times . My stomach also looks like it's 9 months pregnant when I have a flare up . The problem is whenever I irradiate the sibo it always comes back and I've been trying to get to the root of that .my scopes have also showed inflammation

Mines not psychosomatic . I have been diagnosed with sibo through a hydrogen methane breathe test and have gotten treatment for it many times . My stomach also looks like it's 9 months pregnant when I have a flare up . The problem is whenever I irradiate the sibo it always comes back and I've been trying to get to the root of that .my scopes have also showed inflammation

I agree though that IBS is just a blanket statement diagnosis that they give a patient when they can't quite determine what the root cause is . In my case I've been diagnosed sibo , gastritis , as well as this umbrella term which they call " ibs "

Dude I can't even tell you how much i relate. Im on this website because of my health issues. I got diagnosed with Interstitial cystitis a year ago and have been dealing with symptoms nonstop. 3 years prior I was dealing with stomach and pelvic health issues that led to surgeries (that last a few years too). Its just torture. I wanna be in good health so bad. Luckily I do have my resources on deck if I want to CTB but it makes me sad that I even have to consider this at the age of 27. Its just fucked. Any parents don't understand, well they do but they don't. My parents love me a lot and care and support me (especially my dad) but they think it will all get better (which i hope it does) but what if it doesn't? They never seem have an answer to that and tbh I don't thinking existing just to suffer for years is the solution. Sending you love and healing and my DMs are open if you ever want a friend or someone to talk to .

I feel you so much and I am hear for you too!! It really is not fucking easy that we were dealt these cards. Damn it seems like we are in a very similar situation with our failing health but having a caring dad and trying to fight this until we can't anymore. Nobody in there 20's should have to deal with shit like this, we are in the decade where we should be forming relationships, starting a career, and making a life for ourself but instead we are fighting day by day. My dad always tell me that this shits temporary and it will get better and I'm always making plans for the future that I have to cancel. Thanks for reaching out buddy and I truly hope that things get better for the both of us and we can someday live a life without physical suffering.

 

[Bear1234]

Mines not psychosomatic . I have been diagnosed with sibo through a hydrogen methane breathe test and have gotten treatment for it many times . My stomach also looks like it's 9 months pregnant when I have a flare up . The problem is whenever I irradiate the sibo it always comes back and I've been trying to get to the root of that .my scopes have also showed inflammation

I agree though that IBS is just a blanket statement diagnosis that they give a patient when they can't quite determine what the root cause is . In my case I've been diagnosed sibo , gastritis , as well as this umbrella term which they call " ibs "

I feel you so much and I am hear for you too!! It really is not fucking easy that we were dealt these cards. Damn it seems like we are in a very similar situation with our failing health but having a caring dad and trying to fight this until we can't anymore. Nobody in there 20's should have to deal with shit like this, we are in the decade where we should be forming relationships, starting a career, and making a life for ourself but instead we are fighting day by day. My dad always tell me that this shits temporary and it will get better and I'm always making plans for the future that I have to cancel. Thanks for reaching out buddy and I truly hope that things get better for the both of us and we can someday live a life without physical suffering.

I can't say that things will get better because im sure you have tried a billion different things to help yourself and a lot of times those things sometimes hurt more than help and then leave a lot of fear. Living a life of fear at such a young age is also terrible. It does seem like we legit are in the same situation. I pray that we both get peace. All though my prayers haven't been heard yet, maybe they will be. I do believe in miracles and I hope that we get that. My dad actually tells me the same exact thing. That this is temporary. But this is a long ass temporary. Suggestions if you can tolerate it is, I heard slippery elm and marshmellow root help coat the stomach lining which could possibly help? I would look into it, Idk if for your specific situation if it will help or if you have already tried. Hope you can get the future you deserve <3 if not, CTB your way out when you're ready. Don't live in suffering.