Haven't needed to post on here in a couple weeks

[SoftWorries]

When I joined SS it was because I was no longer able to hide what I was feeling inside. I didn't want to be alone in it. And after a few months of writing on here I wasn't able to keep the misery just in writing.

I told my boyfriend a tiny bit of what was troubling me.

Specifically I told him I didn't feel like I had anywhere that was for myself, in the apartment or otherwise. No place where I felt comfortable or that was my own. I told him that was how I felt inside too. No place to retreat to that was comforting. Only sleep and benzos make the feeling of not having anywhere comfortable go away.

I was at a breaking point and I asked him to help me. He did a lot of things around the apartment and now a good amount of my things that were in boxes from when I moved in are decorating the walls and bookshelves. He did a lot.

I also started playing Synth Riders in VR and I really like it. The immersive visuals give me a mental break when I'm playing it. I'm also less overwhelmed by flashbacks and negative thought patterns because they feel much smaller when battling against the visuals in the game.

And things are changing a little bit. I feel a little more like I have a place here. I feel a little more like I have an internal place of comfort as well.

The comfort is little but it's there. I'm hoping maybe it will take root. I'm hoping.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

This is really heart-warming! Good on you for confiding in your boyfriend, and good on him for taking action and trying to make your environment more comfortable. A little bit of comfort can go a long way :) I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever feel the need to post here again, may it be to share more uplifting news.

 

[cami]

im glad you have someone you can confide in to an extent. we all need that sometimes. much love to you and take care of yourself.

 

[Remeer]

good to read that
I do not recommend that you hide what you feel, try to release it in some way (writing, speaking, etc.), the idea is to express it to release it
If you want to relax go to nature, I frequent the hill near my home, a blessing from God
greetings, be well