Venting Haven’t left my bed in 3 days

[19andOverdue]

Besides a few responsibilities, this weekend I guess I'm doing an experiment to see how much the world changes when I'm not there to experience it. Im so tired of feeling not productive enough, I'm tired of the self-hate and mindfulness. It creates nothing but agony and terror.

My dreams have been beautiful. I could write a book about the exploration of my imagination and the blissful world I can create in my own mind. The problem with that is, the more disconnected I become from my body, the harsher reality is when I have to wake up to go to the bathroom. Maybe emptiness and darkness are the only thing that awaits me, maybe I'm worth nothing more than a hypothetical story that no one will ever read.

 

[Flying Away]

I found that giving yourself permission to stay in bed can be quite nice. Unfortunately eventually I found myself being dragged from bed by the everyday mundane. Give yourself time for you. It's not a crime

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing really is so painful and I'm sorry that you suffer. I understand the feeling of being tired of everything. I know that for many, dreams can be an escape from this reality, but then it makes waking up such a dreadful feeling. Waking up is the worst part of the day for me. It is horrifying to realise that I am still here and that I did not peacefully pass away in my sleep.

 

[19andOverdue]

I found that giving yourself permission to stay in bed can be quite nice. Unfortunately eventually I found myself being dragged from bed by the everyday mundane. Give yourself time for you. It's not a crime

Love your name and bio

 

[eternalflame]

So do you feel angry or is it cold indifference?

 

[Flying Away]

Love your name and bio

Thank you