Have you felt mostly powerless to decide your path in life because of real or imagined things such as parental influence?

[Close_to_freedom]

i have and do feel like I have a vice around my brain preventing me from making the choices that I want. It makes ctb more difficult even though it's entirely my choice.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

I have nearly zero experience in any informal social interaction so I'm riddled with anxieties when it comes to anything unfamiliar involving other people. I also have been mostly doing what my mother set out for me - school and university for a long, long time and I believe I never developed an ability to make meaningful life choices. Does that count?

 

[Close_to_freedom]

I have nearly zero experience in any informal social interaction so I'm riddled with anxieties when it comes to anything unfamiliar involving other people. I also have been mostly doing what my mother set out for me - school and university for a long, long time and I believe I never developed an ability to make meaningful life choices. Does that count?

Yeah. So is ctb harder as a result?

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Yes. my mom fucked me up. She always wanted me dead and well....I think of CTB anyways

I feel I am an adult child and my life was robbed. I'd rather die and start over and forget this shitty one

 

[ItsAllTooLate]

My brain injuries directly affect my judgement and decision making skills. As a result, I consistently make poor choices that sabotage my life. I am riddled with guilt for things virtually out of my control. Because of my brain injuries, I feel destined to CTB.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

Yeah. So is ctb harder as a result?

Oh no, that is easy. I'm approaching the point where I have nothing to lose - I'm already living alone and have nearly no human connection. If I died of heart attack, I would probably only be discovered in a few weeks. What is hard is choosing something that is not in a set of {ctb, pointlessly suffering through the day without any sense of direction}, let alone sticking with it for more than few hours.

 

[Bct]

For me, parental influence, past traumas due to being betrayed by people who I thought close to me twice, been ostracised, economic reasons, and may be other reasons mean path I could choose is really limited. It's just hard to go forward when the door of opportunities are really heavy to open.

 

[Torbasco]

That's the main thing keeping me from ever recovering, I think. I can't improve myself enough because of my mental and physical shortcomings. Even if I make it past my traumas, I won't be able to fix my mental blockage keeping me from interacting and learning properly. I'm trapped in a cursed disabled body until I die, I guess. I can survive bills and food budgets on disability but god only knows what will happen when my parents are gone and I have nobody to live with anymore.

 

[lighthousekeeper]

When I was young my mother began to have paranoid delusions after the birth of my younger brother... I was around 7 years old and every once in a while she'd include me in her paranoia, because she really didn't want children and I was her first she kind of thought that I was ruining her life. I had always been an oafish brat compared to my brother, I can see why she singled me out. I'm not sure if that's the thing that had a lasting impact on me... though I do try it's hard to CTB because of their restrictions but I don't think they fully want me to live, considering their response to my last attempt.