I think my friends like me a lot. But they actually know me.
Sometimes I have the feeling strangers I meet might understand I am neurodiverse. It is not something that is immediately obvious. But sometimes I had the feeling when I met them a couple of times they understood I might be autistic or neurodiverse. I had this feeling with 2-3 lecturers at college, my dentist, someone in my former self-help group. There is something that puzzles me. I think if you meet me a few times you understand how I am functioning in many situations. At courses I always was extremely engaged and very, very attentive.
I think people make assumptions about me or compare me with stereotypes of neurodiverse people. And yes maybe some of them apply to me.
Of course there are also people that get annoyed by my quirks quickly or just dislike me in general.
I am not sure what I think about "affirmative Actions" just for being weird. Personally, I perceive myself as quite pathetic and loath me a lot. But it is true I would prefer me over many other people that I don't dislike this much. Which might be paradoxical.
Thinking about this makes me insecure because I have the feeling I am often not all that self-aware. I often try to mirror neurotypical people I am not sure what makes it obvious that I am neurodiverse. On this forum a hint might be that I am a mass poster that posts almost every Single day also about weird stuff. And the interesting thing is I like my role on here.
There seems to be a contradictory conflict in myself. On the one hand I dislike my neurodiversity and which habits I have. On the other hand I am glad I am this way and I had more issues with me if I were someone else.
A part of me likes my neurodiversity and a different part of me hates my neurodiversity. Not only on different topics but sometimes even on the same issue which might be confusing. When I look at it from different perspectives.
One thing to add. I think it usually is not romantic attraction. I rather think I am perceived as innocent, quirky and funny. Someone who probably goes through a lot. Though. some women like emotional availability and being open about feelings. You sometimes get taken advantage of that though.
It is really hard to me to find out what makes me different from other people when I am interacting with them. Other people might notice I am not on autopilot and don't act intuitively. I struggle with overthinking and people might notice that. I think my other conditions make the simulation of normal social behavior even harder.
Sometimes I have the feeling strangers I meet might understand I am neurodiverse. It is not something that is immediately obvious. But sometimes I had the feeling when I met them a couple of times they understood I might be autistic or neurodiverse. I had this feeling with 2-3 lecturers at college, my dentist, someone in my former self-help group. There is something that puzzles me. I think if you meet me a few times you understand how I am functioning in many situations. At courses I always was extremely engaged and very, very attentive.
I think people make assumptions about me or compare me with stereotypes of neurodiverse people. And yes maybe some of them apply to me.
Of course there are also people that get annoyed by my quirks quickly or just dislike me in general.
I am not sure what I think about "affirmative Actions" just for being weird. Personally, I perceive myself as quite pathetic and loath me a lot. But it is true I would prefer me over many other people that I don't dislike this much. Which might be paradoxical.
Thinking about this makes me insecure because I have the feeling I am often not all that self-aware. I often try to mirror neurotypical people I am not sure what makes it obvious that I am neurodiverse. On this forum a hint might be that I am a mass poster that posts almost every Single day also about weird stuff. And the interesting thing is I like my role on here.
There seems to be a contradictory conflict in myself. On the one hand I dislike my neurodiversity and which habits I have. On the other hand I am glad I am this way and I had more issues with me if I were someone else.
A part of me likes my neurodiversity and a different part of me hates my neurodiversity. Not only on different topics but sometimes even on the same issue which might be confusing. When I look at it from different perspectives.
One thing to add. I think it usually is not romantic attraction. I rather think I am perceived as innocent, quirky and funny. Someone who probably goes through a lot. Though. some women like emotional availability and being open about feelings. You sometimes get taken advantage of that though.
It is really hard to me to find out what makes me different from other people when I am interacting with them. Other people might notice I am not on autopilot and don't act intuitively. I struggle with overthinking and people might notice that. I think my other conditions make the simulation of normal social behavior even harder.
Last edited:
