Have you ever been SO terribly abused, hurt and damaged by someone to the point where you contemplate killing them?

[WitheringAway]

Yes, it's me and I feel ashamed and very surprised and disappointed in myself that it's all came down to this. I've been treated terribly bad, manipulated, abused, hurt and left for permanent psychological damage because of one particular person. They had a huge role in destroying my ultimate dream and goal in life. Ruined my reputation, and exerted unimaginable, unspeakable torment on me. Thankfully, they're not a part of my life anymore but I "have" to see them every now and then. And on my bad days when depression and anxiety at it's peak, I find comfort in the fantasy of me killing them. Of course it's just thoughts I would never act on, as I rather kill myself than be named a killer/murderer of someone else. Just the idea of them DEAD and being gone forever from my life is a comforting idea.

 

[Symbiote]

I thought about killing my mom and her boyfriend for abusing me when I was 5, but luckily life took care of my mom 6 years ago and her boyfriend killed himself when the cops found out he was a pedophile.

 

[WitheringAway]

I thought about killing my mom and her boyfriend for abusing me when I was 5, but luckily life took care of my mom 6 years ago and her boyfriend killed himself when the cops found out he was a pedophile.

I can only imagine what the two had put you through for you to reach that point. I'm glad they're gone now.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes. Sometimes I wish I'd killed my father instead of just beating him up

 

[Life_and_Death]

My mother, step father and a few people from school....yes.
After everything theyve done, id love to hear them begging for mercy where there is none.

 

[Weary Soul]

No.

They pretty much tried to kill my psyche and pretty much destroyed any hope I have ever had at having a quasi "normal" life.

So I decided a long time ago that if I were to wish them dead or harm in any way, then that would make me like them. And just ick.

I am not one to believe in karma, but given their attitude and treatment of people (and me), it is only a matter of time until their actions rebound and they actually hurt themselves or worse kill someone or themselves. Or live a completely miserable life if they have any conscience.

I have seen this first hand - my ex is headed to jail. And I called it at least 2 years ago - told his family that if he did not stop his behavior - he was headed for hard time. And now, he is going to serve hard time - he is up on a grade 1 misdemeanor for drunk driving and it is technically his first offense. His blood alcohol level was unbelievably high (0.4) and the prosecutor is throwing the book at him. A grade 1 misdemeanor is just one step below a felony here (for those not in this country who have no clue what this means).

I don't judge though - I can completely understand why some would want to eliminate their abusers.

<3

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, my life in high school was hell. I had the worst classmates ever and they really were bad people. I wanted to kill them sometimes but little by little I realized the best was to ignore them or kick their as*es from time to time! (Taekwondo really saved my life. Now, I can't even kick a can on the floor now lol.)

 

[Cronetappingout]

Not killing them but I would love to see them suffer....

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

Yes definitely, I have passive homicidal thoughts about the person that abused me, castrated me, left me with a brain injury and then gaslighted/ghosted me, basically ruined my life. I'm definitely not harming anyone but I have this thoughts. I thought it was very rare until I met a bunch of people who felt the same about their abuser.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yes, all of that happened to me courtesy of myself so naturally I want myself to die.

My father also was responsible for a lot of the abuse and trauma I suffered in my life but I think death is too good for him. He deserves to go on living his miserable life without me or anyone else in it and I couldn't be happier knowing I'll get to sample the sweet release of death before he does and that I'm going to attribute a lot of the blame to him too.

 

[motel rooms]

He deserves to go on living his miserable life without me or anyone else in it

At least you know his life is miserable

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

At least you know his life is miserable

And he'll be even more miserable once I'm dead and he gets blamed for it.

 

[poisonedminds]

I used to fantasize a lot about killing my abuser. I thought if I'm going to ctb anyways, why not kill two birds with one stone?
However, I have since realized that I don't want to die angry. I want to die in peace, without even thinking of him. He doesn't deserve a place in my last thoughts.

 

[goat]

I still love deeply the person that abused and hurt me the most, I'd never ever want to hurt them in any way.

I'm glad I'm ctb so I don't need to deal with this feeling anymore. It's horrible.

 

[ClownMe]

yes, my mum.

 

[mold]

I can't ever imagine hurting someone else, at least physically. Though I strongly dislike my ex-friends and abuser, and they cause me so much stress and pain every day, I could never go around do even thinking something like that. I always hope for the worst for them, but I never want to be the one to inflict it. I don't consider myself a good person, and even if getting threatened to get killed by one of them did happen, I could never bring myself to do something like that.

I really do understand the feeling though.

 

[Xi-Xi]

Yes, I have thought of killing my abusers before, when I was really in a rough time, but I no longer think of murder now...

 

[FoxSauce]

I have but ik is just a thought not reality but im more worried of them killing me.

I really dont wanna go to jail and ruon my life because of hate

 

[Electrohero777]

Yes I know what you're talking about. For me it's more so just unforgiveness though. Like I will never forgive that person, not even on my deathbed. As soon as I'm able to cut free from whoever the fuck they are I'm fucking done...if only in death even. I'll separate from them somehow...

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Yes. I used to think about killing my rapist all the time. Sometimes I still do. It makes me feel "in control" of my PTSD. It's gotten better though, but it lurks. I would never act on it, but the intrusive thoughts are there.

 

[MyLastTour]

Thankfully I have not suffered someone so horrible. There's really only one person that I would take immense pleasure in harming, but that's because of what he has done to my SO. She would probably thank me for it, even if she doesn't want me behind bars over beating him almost dead. Knowing even a fraction of the opportunities he has taken from her, the abuse she's endured, and the way that entitled shithead yells at her makes me smoulder with fury.

He is lucky we do not cross paths because if he gave me even an ounce of plausible deniability, there would be a very one-sided confrontation.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

No, not really, because I consider death a great mercy. Why would I want to give that to my abusers?

Instead I trust in God and karma. I have seen bad things happen to at least some of my abusers, and I believe that God's punishments are greater than any I could give, even if they are often slow and subtle.

I want them to live. I'm not even sure I particularly want them to suffer, because suffering is a privilege, but I do want them to experience some form of punishment... and human life itself is a punishment, in my view.

 

[darksouls]

my abusers deserve something far worse than death

 

[woofwag]

Oh absolutely. And I'd do it too if I could get away with it. It would make my life so much less fearful and more free. Even though I'll likely ctb in the end, I would love to see fear in their face before they died at my hands.