Discussion Have or, how have the intensity of your emotions changed as you've grown older?

[Forever Sleep]

Have there been general shifts or, do you still feel emotions at random levels?

I think for me, there have been marked increases in some and, decreases in others.

I felt more excitement and enthusiasm over things when I was young. I still have a reasonable sense of wonder. I'm not totally numb. But, it's not like it was. I remember even just going to a shop that sold second hand games being so excited to get home to play one. Reading the instruction book on the bus home. I used to feel so much more excited about my work too.

Ashamedly, my intensity to love and care about others has decreased too. I'm thankful that my tendency to worry has diminished although, I do still catastrophize now and then. Generally, my fear and anxiety has decreased but that's because I've mostly removed myself from situations that could potentially be stressful. I've removed myself from the threats, rather than becoming braver.

My resentment has, on the other hand massively increased. I think I was too timid and afraid and sad to blame others when I was young. I just absorbed it all as my own personal fault I wasn't good enough. Now, it's more a resentment that I'm (we are) here in the first place with all these expectations placed on me/ us.

I make excuses for myself too. Maybe in order to live more peacefully. I can recognise that some of my emotional/ personality shifts aren't very nice. It's not nice to feel less love towards others. But then, I reason that it's inevitable. I'm not really around them to feel that so much. It would be awful in a way to continue to love them to the same extent. I'd miss them so much. Maybe I've become more numb to protect myself from that.

Plus, some loved ones have died. That's taught me how much it hurts to love and lose. So, I think I pretty much made the decision at one point I wouldn't invite that into my life again. I suppose life's experiences harden us.

What have you experienced? Do you feel like you've become more or less emotional as you've aged? Have you made conscious or semi- conscious efforts to shut off some emotions to protect yourself?

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

They have changed, but not in the way that people would probably assume if they knew me back then vs. now. I think they've gotten more intense, but buried much, much deeper down in my psyche. Not for very long unfortunately—a lot is coming to the surface as my life crumbles around me, I think. We'll see how that goes.

 

[-Link-]

Have you made conscious or semi- conscious efforts to shut off some emotions to protect yourself?

Any emotions that involve attachment or closeness to other people, be it platonically or romantically, I've definitely shut off as a protective measure, as my getting close to others has only ever ended in hurt (largely through no fault of their own but rather more to do with my anxiety-induced aversion to emotional intimacy). Mostly a subconscious thing, I expect. Sometimes I have to shut it down consciously, though, if I feel any hint of "those feelings" towards another person bubbling up, I'm just like, "NOPE, don't go there, Link."

Long-term severe depression and passive suicidality have blunted my emotions all across the spectrum, I believe, although @NormallyNeurotic makes an interesting insight that makes me think -- the idea they could be "more intense but buried deeper." I wonder what that would look like if they ever came roaring back.

 

[Forever Sleep]

the idea they could be "more intense but buried deeper." I wonder what that would look like if they ever came roaring back.

That's true actually. I think I did largely bury my limerent tendencies about ten years back although- I am still definitely susceptible. Now and again, I will get flickers of obsession about someone again. I just have to try really hard to manage my thoughts. Some emotions are better kept buried I think.

I think I've always repressed anger too. I wonder what would happen if that ever came out.

 

[leftoperish]

I feel you, honestly as we grow older and we start to understand the world and lose our child like innocence, it's really a sad thing to have to change your nature just to fit in with society and even if they are happy social interactions, you or (at least I) start to hate what i have to become just to fit in, and makes me feel like an actor I've been played for a fool, counted out, and disrespected. But I've built an iron clad heart no to let it bother me i own my life and only i decide how it goes. Hope this helps. I have more to say but because i understand the feeling i know it will be a painful read for you, so just little words is all you need…..find your heart and remain who you are but always expect the least from people. Godspeed friend we will eventually reach the light

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

That's true actually. I think I did largely bury my limerent tendencies about ten years back although- I am still definitely susceptible. Now and again, I will get flickers of obsession about someone again. I just have to try really hard to manage my thoughts. Some emotions are better kept buried I think.

I think I've always repressed anger too. I wonder what would happen if that ever came out.

I think I buried it so successfully (despite it getting more intense as I grew) just because of the severity of my dissociation it will definitely vary person to person, I think. Sometimes it feels like I have the collective rage of like... 1000+ people.

 

[Require_love]

I get that a lot, too. I feel called out here, in fact. I guess it is normal to lose the edge in emotions, for better or for worse. I catastrophise a bit less now, but mostly because I've accepted the bleakness of everything.
In short, hoping for anything that I can't completely deterministically influence is terrifying.
I won't say I've become misanthropic, but I seem to have developed a general apathy towards humans. Atleast I love my parents, haha.

 

[Lady_V]

The older I get, the more prejudiced I get towards men. I do my best not to lash out, but there is a lot of hate in my heart for men. When I was younger I never interacted with them, but I didn't have these overwhelming thoughts that the world would be better without the majority of them. I think it's a combination of not interacting with them irl, only being exposed to them when they are online where they do not filter their most disgusting thoughts and actions, and being exposed to super shitty men when I do let them close to me.
I hope one day I can find men who are just decent good people, but all I see is grossness and enablers. I know the way I think now is not good for me or fair to good men.

 

[Seneca65AD]

I've tended to care less about pleasing people as time goes on. I have my family I care about, my staff and the odd friend. For the others in my life, I have run out of "f's" to give. I don't go out of my way to cause issues, and in fact will let a lot of things slide simply because I have neither the energy nor desire to prove I'm right or they're wrong. However, my threshold for things affecting those I care about has actually become lower - and I will engage in some pretty aggressive tactics to protect those people. Nothing "illegal" but what is legal and what is moral are 2 completely different discussions.

EDIT: for spelling..

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I feel things far less than I did when younger. I still tend to become very angry at stupid things and obnoxious people, but it fades very quickly too, and, I'm aware of the fact that I'm much more angry than the situation calls for. I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside, wonder why I'm such an idiot, and then just don't care. I don't hope or believe in happiness and love anymore, so those feelings, cravings and longings are gone. I feel have plenty of proof that no one could really like me because honestly I'm a twisted offensive jerk. So I just try to stay quiet and out of the way, and I'm fine with it. It seems strange to me that I used to really want to have friends and go out, or hope to maybe have a warm relationship with my wife (who for a long time is basically a hostile roommate). I'm just tired and empty now for the most part.

 

[vitbar]

Starting antidepressants has caused abrupt changes. There were still trends before.

Less often enthusiastic, but also less cause for it. When there is cause it still burns hot.

I feel more strongly for others having experienced more hardships. When I was younger I was more flippant and judged more harshly. I better understand our flawed nature.

I'm generally less timid in most ways, but still struggle to overcome my avoidance of social anxiety triggers. Care less what others think of me.

 

[Pluto]