Story hahaha

[enne]

lord, maybe this should go to vent not story. what am i doing. someone stop me.

i guess i'm heading out (big mistake) idk what i'm doing. i did. shower and kinda shave… i'm losing my mind. i cant do this.

maybe i'll just get a bump out of desperation. i wanna hook up but like
y'all, i cant should this be under nsfw

i wanna feel alive. i'm so disgusting. he'll regret it once he realizes i'm not the girl from before
lord i hardly remember him

i'll put it under vent
i cant hook up. i'm just going crazy here.
maybe he'll understand

chug chug chug you miserable bitch

 

[hereandthere13]

girl what

 

[enne]

girl what

old one nighter. don't wanna hook up but i wanna get out. already wearing my grippy socks lessgo

old one nighter. don't wanna hook up but i wanna get out. already wearing my grippy socks lessgo

i've got one 9.5% left but i brushed my teeth. idk i wanna scream

 

[hereandthere13]

old one nighter. don't wanna hook up but i wanna get out. already wearing my grippy socks lessgo

i've got one 9.5% left but i brushed my teeth. idk i wanna scream

hook up? like have sex with someone? and 9.5% left of what?

 

[enne]

hook up? like have sex with someone? and 9.5% left of what?

9.5% ipa (beer) and i don't want to hook up. we did once. i just need out of this place, earlier i was trying to hang myself.
imma be straight with him when he pulls up. somehow. i'm not drunk since the shower. i wanna be drunk so i'm going

or i'll just chainsmoke in the carport with him and hope he can be noteworthy.

i just need some release
i'm at my breaking point tho

 

[hereandthere13]

9.5% ipa (beer) and i don't want to hook up. we did once. i just need out of this place, earlier i was trying to hang myself.
imma be straight with him when he pulls up. somehow. i'm not drunk since the shower. i wanna be drunk so i'm going

or i'll just chainsmoke in the carport with him and hope he can be noteworthy.

i just need some release
i'm at my breaking point tho

are you ok? who is this person you are going to see?

 

[enne]

are you ok? who is this person you are going to see?

i'm not okay, but i haven't been in a long time. i wont get hurt tho. probably feelings, but i explained to him he found me in my high of bipolar and i keep reintegrating i'm not the same person since my collapse on reality.
idk what i'm doing. i'll take you with me tho.
imma just hurt my own feelings :)
i told him i'm a disappointment

 

[hereandthere13]

i'm not okay, but i haven't been in a long time. i wont get hurt tho. probably feelings, but i explained to him he found me in my high of bipolar and i keep reintegrating i'm not the same person since my collapse on reality.
idk what i'm doing. i'll take you with me tho.
imma just hurt my own feelings :)

do u have discord? these messages are a little worrying.

 

[enne]

do u have discord? these messages are a little worrying.

i followed you. i don't have a discord account anymore
i'm not in danger sugar
my phone might let me redownload but probably not.

 

[hereandthere13]

i followed you. i don't have a discord account anymore
i'm not in danger sugar
my phone might let me redownload but probably not.

ok thats good to hear. if u get discord i can give u my @ just in case. are u in mania? u said something about losing your grip on reality

 

[enne]

it's not mania like before.. it's just i need to step away. i just hope he's understanding of my situation. i know exactly what he also wants, but i think i can just get by?.. he didn't push that night- i wanted it. i am kinda in a tizzy. i don't know exactly what i'm doing, but i understand what i'm doing ?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

lord, maybe this should go to vent not story. what am i doing. someone stop me.

i guess i'm heading out (big mistake) idk what i'm doing. i did. shower and kinda shave… i'm losing my mind. i cant do this.

maybe i'll just get a bump out of desperation. i wanna hook up but like
y'all, i cant should this be under nsfw

i wanna feel alive. i'm so disgusting. he'll regret it once he realizes i'm not the girl from before
lord i hardly remember him

i'll put it under vent
i cant hook up. i'm just going crazy here.
maybe he'll understand

chug chug chug you miserable bitch

Hook up always meant hang out until Gen Z (or was it millennials?) got ahold of it. "Hook up" is in no way explicit and needs no NSFW warning.

 

[hereandthere13]

if u dont know what ur doing then u should probably take a second to understand whats going on and if u want to proceed

 

[enne]

knowing my luck he passed out already before getting here
i just want to leave ~~

 

[hereandthere13]

knowing my luck he passed out already before getting here
i just want to leave ~~

are u able to safely step outside for a few minutes? some fresh air might be all u need

 

[enne]

are u able to safely step outside for a few minutes? some fresh air might be all u need

i'll step outside for a ciggie.

 

[hereandthere13]

i'll step outside for a ciggie.

ok great. i hope that makes you feel a little better. im always around if u need to talk

 

[enne]

ok great. i hope that makes you feel a little better. im always around if u need to talk

i really appreciate that. sincerely.

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

I get that frantic need to be anywhere else. I know how it feels when the walls start closing in and you just want a different kind of chaos to drown out your own thoughts. If you go, let it be about the air or the smoke. you already gave him a heads up about where your head is at. you really do not owe him anything tonight. do not feel like you have to perform or be the girl he remembers. You do not owe him a hookup just because you are desperate for a release. Watch your back.

 

[enne]

it's almost 4am. i'm in the carport, feeling like a loser. kinda more than normal which is silly. he said his phone was dying, but last call he said he was coming to get me.
idk. it is a ways away, but around now should be more than enough time.

again, i was gonna try to hang earlier not hang out

i feel dumb irregardless plus i'm stuck in italics lmao
i deserve this lol
update: otw
update: nerves are back
update: birds are chirping
update: still have an ipa, want a shot
update: gotta escape for at least a moment
update: miss my ass and xanax script more than anything
***if you read my first post you'll understand my dilemma in this maybe***