Had another episode

[BitterlyAlive_]

I tend to get more agitated at night. During the morning and the day, I'm tired/bored/miserable and it's hard to really do things. I feel foggy. At night I get agitation tacked on. Yay. Then I kinda feel like my brain is on fire.

I was laying in bed with a pillow over my head, all that was really going through my mind was "This is awful and I want the pain to just stop." Was in this super stressed state for a while. Then I started feeling weird; I generally feel kinda detached from my body but here I just disconnected. I was behind my body, limbs felt far away, I somehow got the pillow off my head and things in general felt farther away. Felt vaguely scared as it started then I went numb. Typical stuff.

Feel a bit more with it now, I'm exhausted and will hopefully be able to sleep. This post really has no point, I'm just talking into the void.

Sigh. I'm just so tired of existing.

 

[Miss_Takes]

I am having similar but different experiences of detachment so I think I understand a little of what youre going through.
Its horrible and unnerving and my heart goes out to you.

 

[foxdie]

I'm so sick of the fog. It's so foggin foggy! I get more agitated in the day so I'm opposite I guess but I definitely feel you. Existing sucks. Hope you can fall asleep soon, rest well.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I am having similar but different experiences of detachment so I think I understand a little of what youre going through.
Its horrible and unnerving and my heart goes out to you.

What is it like for you? On occasions like tonight, it's really just a relief because I'm in a numb limbo for a bit. When I'm anxious as hell like earlier this week, I tend to have a lot of derealization before I go numb, so it's...ugh, as you said, horrible and unnerving.

I'm so sick of the fog. It's so foggin foggy! I get more agitated in the day so I'm opposite I guess but I definitely feel you. Existing sucks. Hope you can fall asleep soon, rest well.

Yeah, seriously...it's just a mess all around, isn't it? I hope I can sleep soon too. The insomnia has been setting in again and I just wanna catch some Zs lol

 

[Miss_Takes]

When I am not in a place of 'heightened' numbness its as though I am a few steps away from real ... I am seeing and thinking and able to touch as normal but I am not quite 'connecting' to anything on any level.
I know Im still here even but I cant quite 'catch' me.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

When I am not in a place of 'heightened' numbness its as though I am a few steps away from real ... I am seeing and thinking and able to touch as normal but I am not quite 'connecting' to anything on any level.
I know Im still here even but I cant quite 'catch' me.

Ah, I can relate. Do you feel like this often?

 

[Miss_Takes]

Ive been breaking dow emotionally for a few years but its been interspersed with periods of normality and high functioning.
In the last 5 months I have experienced added stressors that appear to have complicated things and for the last few weeks the unnerring numbness and periods of perceptual disturbance have increased.
This last week has been particularly difficult and while the days are long in the moment they seem to disappear quickly as do the weeks and I am barely able to recall what has occupied my time.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Ive been breaking dow emotionally for a few years but its been interspersed with periods of normality and high functioning.
In the last 5 months I have experienced added stressors that appear to have complicated things and for the last few weeks the unnerring numbness and periods of perceptual disturbance have increased.
This last week has been particularly difficult and while the days are long in the moment they seem to disappear quickly as do the weeks and I am barely able to recall what has occupied my time.

Sounds like hell, especially since you've had the periods of improvement - it's like a slap in the face when things get bad again.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I tend to get more agitated at night. During the morning and the day, I'm tired/bored/miserable and it's hard to really do things. I feel foggy. At night I get agitation tacked on. Yay. Then I kinda feel like my brain is on fire.

I was laying in bed with a pillow over my head, all that was really going through my mind was "This is awful and I want the pain to just stop." Was in this super stressed state for a while. Then I started feeling weird; I generally feel kinda detached from my body but here I just disconnected. I was behind my body, limbs felt far away, I somehow got the pillow off my head and things in general felt farther away. Felt vaguely scared as it started then I went numb. Typical stuff.

Feel a bit more with it now, I'm exhausted and will hopefully be able to sleep. This post really has no point, I'm just talking into the void.

Sigh. I'm just so tired of existing.

That's a very odd experience. How are you feeling now? And...

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

That's a very odd experience. How are you feeling now? And...

It happens. Feeling pretty terrible today, tbh :/ Thanks for the hug.