Had a close call

[justpassingby]

Earlier today I attempted to overdose on a really popular OTC drug. Hours later I felt like I was going to faint if not die. My legs felt like jelly, my body temperature started getting really hot and I was terrified. My vision was getting hazy. I started praying to God to forgive me and everything. My body still felt like I was going to pass out so I then tried to gag myself. Nothing was coming out but luckily there was a bottle of water inches away and I chugged it hoping to dilute my system.

So far I feel fine again. Head feels kind of weird and I'm a bit sluggish, but I'm fine i guess. I've since realized that I'm not quite ready to die and meet whatever faces me in the after life.

I still fucking hate it here and don't know how I'm going to make it through each day.


It makes me wonder how people can manage to attempt suicide multiple times. This shit is scary!

If I do die, I would prefer it to be unexpected and after a really good day so that at least my final hours were enjoyable.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful to have to go through. At least you feel better now. This life can be so cruel, I would do anything for a peaceful way out. It does scare me in a way, attempting suicide after hearing things like that.

 

[Rae82]

Do you think you just eventually get to a point where the will to die is stronger than SI and that's the point when you can do it without as much fear?

 

[motel rooms]

If I do die, I would prefer it to be unexpected and after a really good day so that at least my final hours were enjoyable.

You want your suicide to be unexpected & after a really good day? That's an interesting fantasy

 

[poisonedminds]

Can I ask what drug? You should be careful because liver failure may kill you multiple days after pill ingestion (tylenol, for example, may make you feel fine at first but kill you days later), so you may feel fine now but still be in medical danger.

 

[Samael96]

That is just our survival instict kicking in! Same reaction happened to me when i tried to overdose with psycho meds and alcohol: imagine a full fist of pills i had to ingest.. it took me 15 minutes of staring to make the move and ingest them, and when i did first thing that happened is that i went into panic mode, death thoughts started scaring me, and i just wanted to go to my parents' room and tell them to call the ambulance and save me. But i just managed to cool myself down, i went to bed and done, my consciousness faded.
So yeah it is normal to get scared and react like that, to try and save yourself, you just have to be firm on your decision and keep your mind strong and clear.
When i woke up after the coma i just was like "wtf did i do" and i felt like puking everytime i was thinking about that exact moment.
But now i am cool with it and ready to do it again, with a stronger and more secure method.

Your survival instict will always throw you into panic, don't forget that

 

[motel rooms]

Do you think you just eventually get to a point where the will to die is stronger than SI and that's the point when you can do it without as much fear?

There's no guarantee that we all eventually get to that point, but, yeah, a person catchesTB when the pain & despair finally become stronger than SI

Your survival instict will always throw you into panic, don't forget that

So true. Everyone should be aware of that

 

[justpassingby]

You want your suicide to be unexpected & after a really good day? That's an interesting fantasy

Yes. I want to at least die happy.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes. I want to at least die happy.

Yes, but how could your suicide happen unexpectedly? That's kind of impossible

 

[justpassingby]

Yes, but how could your suicide happen unexpectedly? That's kind of impossible

Not necessarily suicide, just another form of death

 

[Rae82]

Imagine the bliss of going to sleep at night and never waking up.

 

[Huntfish34]

I've known a few people that have died in their sleep,. I imagine it's bliss for sure.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Yes, but how could your suicide happen unexpectedly? That's kind of impossible

impulsive. one could have their method on hand (like i do, well my back up method) enjoy the day, then get triggered in the afternoon, attempt and succeed. and that is how you commit suicide after a good day lol