Guilt.

[silentnight]

Im currently alone in a third world country, staying in a hotel that I have booked til the 30th, I need to book an Airbnb for a week or two so that I can order my N there as D doesn't deliver to hotels I've been told.

The problem I have is that I feel so defeated and guilty that I barely have the capacity to bring myself to get everything set up.

When I go on Airbnb and look at places and see the host I feel sick to the stomach thinking that this person who has rented me their living space is going to find me dead and will have to call the police, I feel terrible for putting this on other people this is my biggest obstacle atm.

I could just use the Bnb to order it and find a secluded place to drink it, but the thought of my dead body under a bridge or in a bush makes me feel even worse.

Now I'm writing this and getting it out of my head it seems those are my only two options and I will just have to make a decision and stick with it.

The truly sad thing is that in my current state of mind I don't feel like I have it in me to do anything, and if I don't take action I will end up spending what I have left on hotels, I have a limited amount of money and an even more limited amount of will left.

Any comments would be appreciated

 

[roguetrader]

Perhaps you can book 1-2 more nights at a hotel and do it there after receiving your N at the Airbnb

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I see it, the society is the problem for not allowing euthanasia. If that was legalised then people would not have to be traumatised by finding dead bodies. After all, death is part of life and we will all die eventually. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this guilt. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

 

[silentnight]

Perhaps you can book 1-2 more nights at a hotel and do it there after receiving your N at the Airbnb

That's actually a good idea I didn't think of that, thank you!

The way I see it, the society is the problem for not allowing euthanasia. If that was legalised then people would not have to be traumatised by finding dead bodies. After all, death is part of life and we will all die eventually. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this guilt. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.

Couldn't agree more mate

 

[Interloper]

Does he actually not deliver to hotels? Have you asked him?

 

[Death is beautiful]

Does he actually not deliver to hotels? Have you asked him?

Yes, he doesnt deliver to hotels