grief of the loss of a loved one

[themisfell]

hi, i know there's a few other threads about it, but I wanted to just kinda make a new one to discuss stuff. to anyone here who has dealt with grief from the lost of a loved one, how do you feel now? i recently lost my mother and i just... its weird because i hated her but what i feel is like indescribable. i have just been kinda in a daze ever since her funeral and i don't even know what to do. any thoughts would be very appreciated.

 

[whywere]

Back in 1982, yes, I am older, I watched, I cannot swim at all, my best friend ever drowned about 10 meters from me. This was the 1st time that I completely snapped, had state troopers, I live in the U.S. have an all-points bulletin out trying to find me.

It is over 41 years later and for me it is the same as if it happened yesterday. I try my very hardest to never think about it as it always pulls me down.

But also with time, I can sit back and think of all the great times and the awesome stuff that we did together, and it always makes me smile and fill my heart with love.

So, like almost everything in life it is a 2-edged sword.

My most heartfelt condolences to you, as I send you lots of huge hugs, love and the knowledge that you are loved and cared about by the SS family.

Walter

 

[vitbar]

I lost my partner to covid. I'd only known her just over a year. Still it devastated me. At first the waves of grief swamped me. With time they gradually became more and more spaced out. A few years on and the grief only rears up occasionally.

 

[SolomonKado]

when I was 19 my mother passed away from a rollover vehicle accident. The freaking state trooper thought it was a good idea to tell me she was flung out a window. He said it looked like she was trying to crawl to her phone that was in her purse to call for help…. From then on I had these terror fits imagining her suffering and crawling to get help.

Throughout that whole thing from finding out and until now I didn't feel loss. I was actually happy for her. Our life wasn't an easy one and she struggled a lot with mental health. She wasn't the best mom and made things harder for us belt whoopin' and all, but she kept a roof over our head and food in our bellies. I was happy her pain was finally over and could rest finally. I can only imagine what brought her to the point she started acting the way she did. She must have been terribly tormented.

Maybe what you're feeling IS loss, but in a way that the person is no longer there in the flesh. Just a story now. When something is gone from our lives it's normal to feel the empty space left behind bad, good, or otherwise.