woofwag
Bad dog
- Sep 17, 2025
- 96
To describe myself as spiraling would be the understatement of the century. I don't have anyone IRL I can talk about this with. I mentioned to my bestie that I have it since I tell him everything (idk that's bestie, it doesn't count with him), but I can't really go into depth about it even with him. He's more of a "cheer you up" kinda guy rather than "let me comfort you" type deal.
Right now it's sitting about a foot across from me on my bed. Lying behind it is my pill organizer, ironically enough. Like I ever fucking found anything to save me from myself. Just trauma after trauma, disappointment after disappointment. And in my leaving I will disperse that to everyone who cares about me. What a terrible fucking legacy. But I've never, ever been ok. And if shit keeps going the way it is, I don't believe I'll ever find a way out of it. I'm losing hope rapidly. Even my therapist said she didn't know how to help me. So I stopped bringing up the ideation. Just back to small potatoes. It kind of helps, but right now it really doesn't. It's fine. It's all fucking fine.
Not going to take it yet. Still don't have a meto source. The one I was looking at has been out of stock for a while. Idk how to get it. I found one that was by prescription online, but just to have the assessment done it was $40 which is fucking asinine, especially considering they were selling the drug itself for $30, not including shipping like wtf. Anyway lmk if anyone has a good source. I'm working on finding one, but I'm so tired of it. I just want to sleep for forever... which I guess is the whole point of this.
Right now it's sitting about a foot across from me on my bed. Lying behind it is my pill organizer, ironically enough. Like I ever fucking found anything to save me from myself. Just trauma after trauma, disappointment after disappointment. And in my leaving I will disperse that to everyone who cares about me. What a terrible fucking legacy. But I've never, ever been ok. And if shit keeps going the way it is, I don't believe I'll ever find a way out of it. I'm losing hope rapidly. Even my therapist said she didn't know how to help me. So I stopped bringing up the ideation. Just back to small potatoes. It kind of helps, but right now it really doesn't. It's fine. It's all fucking fine.
Not going to take it yet. Still don't have a meto source. The one I was looking at has been out of stock for a while. Idk how to get it. I found one that was by prescription online, but just to have the assessment done it was $40 which is fucking asinine, especially considering they were selling the drug itself for $30, not including shipping like wtf. Anyway lmk if anyone has a good source. I'm working on finding one, but I'm so tired of it. I just want to sleep for forever... which I guess is the whole point of this.
I sincerely hope you feel better eventually, I know how tough it can be.
