Goodbye (in Two Weeks)

[In2TheVoid]

I've been walking around and feeling peaceful and I think it's because I've finally decided I'm going to do it. I had a chance a while ago and didn't do it, but I rehearsed all the steps.

I'm trying to have a nice time with my family because they are good people. Going to try to disappear into nature with my N so that when / if I'm found it's not clear how I died.

I hope there's nothing after death or that I get a chance to relive this life. I could have lived an amazing and useful life if I hadn't destroyed myself while manic. I have let so many good people down and sabotaged what could have been so enjoyable. Pathological gambling is an evil disease of the mind.

I want to say thank you to everyone here who has interacted with me and shared their stories. I have been luckier than most and in some sense it makes me feel worse, because I wanted to make the world a kinder place. I wish you all the best and am grateful for this site... I'll definitely update this thread as the date approaches.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry to hear you're leaving this world.
It's been really nice to see you around.

In case I don't see your goodbye thread, I wish you lots of love and eternal peace.

I know how much this goddamn unfair world can suck.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Damn yeah drink will often get the better of me but gambling can take the destruction to another level.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I hate to hear you have to go… but if it's something you've decided upon, I'm wishing you good luck and Godspeed… I'm really sorry it came down to this

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can simply be cruel and we can do many things we regret. I hope there is nothing after this life too and the thought of there being eternal peace comforts me. If this is what you want then I wish you the best. Nobody should have to live a life filled with suffering.

 

[In2TheVoid]

Thank you guys for your kindness... took a boatload of ketamine last night and it seems to have reduced my suicidal thinking for now - trying to take it 1 day at a time but I see a small glimmer of hope and may delay CTB

 

[Freakazette]

Never had the chance to speak with you, but I hope you'll find the peace you are seeking. Hugs