Venting Goodbye all!

[BoredNTired]

HI everyone, I'm sitting here with two cups each with 23 g of SN in them, and the oxycodone is starting to kick in. Just wanted to make a final post to give some contect to myself and thank all of you again for being such a welcoming, accepting, and helpful community! I've always planned on dying by suicide ever since I first thought about the concept of death. I haven't lived a particulalry miserable or difficult life, just an unpleasant one. The root of it all is the fact that I simply find myself to be an unlikable person. I truly think that as long as I exist in any manner recognizable as myself, I will be unhappy, and to change enough to not be recoganizable would be the equivilant of death. I've had hardships sure, manic episodes, panic attacks, fits of self harm, general anxiety, depression and the recent death of my mother, but none of those really contributed to this choice. I think I am just fundamentally lacking some aspect of the human experience that makes it worth while. I do not know if I am capable of love, familial romantic or platonic, and for the last several years have been unable to see myself as anything but subhuman for my failiure to exist as I think people should. I do not know if everyone feels as let down by their existance as I or if i am uniquely sick, but either explanation would justify my death to me. This was heavily premeditated and no anti depressants or meds I have taken have for a second have shaken my resolve over the years to die by my own hand. I do not know if an afterlife exists, but I hope that It doesn't so I no longer have to exist as myself in any way shape or form. I haven't been as active here as I would have liked due to bouts of anxiety, but I've been lurking and reading other peoples posts for a while, and you've all helped me immensely. Thank you all so much for being a place where I could find a bit of solice near the end, and goodbye.

 

[spectraltease]

I hope you find what you are looking for, I am sure you will find it. You deserve everything.
Much luck and love!!

 

[gothbird]

I am sorry that it has all come to this. I applaud you for trying so hard in your life. Remember, you can back out whenever you want—there is no shame nor will anyone judge you. Methylene blue is what you need to tell the emergency staff to reverse it.

But for your well planned trip, I wish you the best of luck, a safe journey and peace wherever you may find yourself. Sleep well and may you dream of the sands of space.

 

[cms]

You are not subhuman. You seem very sweet to me. I hope you find peace. Giving you a big virtual hug.

 

[galaxid]

Rest well.

 

[rozeske]

I wish you all the best. From one unlikable to another it doesn't define you as a person nor does it mean there is something fundamentally wrong with you, things just happen to be that way. We don't choose it, atleast not consciously. Peace be on your journey. You are always welcome here, posting or not.

 

[blackjack711]

Rest now, your nightmare is over

 

[Jadeith]

Painless and peaceful journey to you.

 

[whywere]

Peace and endless love to you my good friend.

Always around if things change.

Walter

 

[davidtorez]

Hope you finally found the peace you were looking for.

 

[LimpandNumb]

Thinking of you at this time

 

[Kalista]

leave well

 

[Sbetto]

I hope you can to find peace and you can be free from your suffering

 

[Roadrunner]

I hope your journey is gentle, good luck

 

[Spicy Tteokbokki]

Giving you a spiritual hug and a finally goodbye.

 

[ellipse]

Hope you find peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[CatLvr]

If things went like you wanted them to you are in the painless, peaceful comfort of the next realm. If you are still with us, I hope you know that we are always here for you. Either way, I hope your heart is finally at peace.

 

[divinemistress36]

Peace on your journey <3

 

[SVEN]

Every good wish.

 

[SmilingNoMore]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and being part of the community too. May your journey bring you the peace you are searching, wishing you all the best and sending love on the way.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

nothing but peace, nothing but love.

 

[cupboard]

HI everyone, I'm sitting here with two cups each with 23 g of SN in them, and the oxycodone is starting to kick in. Just wanted to make a final post to give some contect to myself and thank all of you again for being such a welcoming, accepting, and helpful community! I've always planned on dying by suicide ever since I first thought about the concept of death. I haven't lived a particulalry miserable or difficult life, just an unpleasant one. The root of it all is the fact that I simply find myself to be an unlikable person. I truly think that as long as I exist in any manner recognizable as myself, I will be unhappy, and to change enough to not be recoganizable would be the equivilant of death. I've had hardships sure, manic episodes, panic attacks, fits of self harm, general anxiety, depression and the recent death of my mother, but none of those really contributed to this choice. I think I am just fundamentally lacking some aspect of the human experience that makes it worth while. I do not know if I am capable of love, familial romantic or platonic, and for the last several years have been unable to see myself as anything but subhuman for my failiure to exist as I think people should. I do not know if everyone feels as let down by their existance as I or if i am uniquely sick, but either explanation would justify my death to me. This was heavily premeditated and no anti depressants or meds I have taken have for a second have shaken my resolve over the years to die by my own hand. I do not know if an afterlife exists, but I hope that It doesn't so I no longer have to exist as myself in any way shape or form. I haven't been as active here as I would have liked due to bouts of anxiety, but I've been lurking and reading other peoples posts for a while, and you've all helped me immensely. Thank you all so much for being a place where I could find a bit of solice near the end, and goodbye.

HI everyone, I'm sitting here with two cups each with 23 g of SN in them, and the oxycodone is starting to kick in. Just wanted to make a final post to give some contect to myself and thank all of you again for being such a welcoming, accepting, and helpful community! I've always planned on dying by suicide ever since I first thought about the concept of death. I haven't lived a particulalry miserable or difficult life, just an unpleasant one. The root of it all is the fact that I simply find myself to be an unlikable person. I truly think that as long as I exist in any manner recognizable as myself, I will be unhappy, and to change enough to not be recoganizable would be the equivilant of death. I've had hardships sure, manic episodes, panic attacks, fits of self harm, general anxiety, depression and the recent death of my mother, but none of those really contributed to this choice. I think I am just fundamentally lacking some aspect of the human experience that makes it worth while. I do not know if I am capable of love, familial romantic or platonic, and for the last several years have been unable to see myself as anything but subhuman for my failiure to exist as I think people should. I do not know if everyone feels as let down by their existance as I or if i am uniquely sick, but either explanation would justify my death to me. This was heavily premeditated and no anti depressants or meds I have taken have for a second have shaken my resolve over the years to die by my own hand. I do not know if an afterlife exists, but I hope that It doesn't so I no longer have to exist as myself in any way shape or form. I haven't been as active here as I would have liked due to bouts of anxiety, but I've been lurking and reading other peoples posts for a while, and you've all helped me immensely. Thank you all so much for being a place where I could find a bit of solice near the end, and goodbye.

From a fellow subhuman, wherever you decide to take this, I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[Kta1994]

Sending you the best wishes

 

[zombiegirl]

digging the rosetta mili icon, hope you rest well

 

[MewtwoIsAlive]

I also think im the reason for the suffering and I dont want to change. I also hope afterlife doesnt exist, I dont want to spend another day on this earth I already understood the concept of life. I just hope ill have peace in heaven.
Well if you are already there please tell them I said I hi and reserve a place for me :)

 

[ringo99]

I'm getting close to doing the same. Hopefully we all end up someplace better after this nightmare called life ends

 

[DarknessWave]

I hope you find the peace that you've been looking for, rest well.

 

[saturn1402]

I hope you find what you are looking for. Rest in peace

 

[LimpandNumb]

Best wishes.