Venting Good things happening, feels weird.

[DownwardSpiral]

Some effort that I put in is finally paying off a bit & an opportunity to go to university came my way. I took advantage of it & im having a nice time for the first time in many years. I finally escaped my parents house, & now I'm actually having new experiences, making friends, hanging out with people, challenging myself, etc. It's like my life finally started for the first time.

I have conflicting feelings though. I'm very scared that it won't last & everything will come crashing down & I'll go back to square one being all alone & hopeless. It also just all feels fake. I'm scared I will self sabotage because I get annoyed by people & want to be alone. I don't even have any plans for the future. I'm just trying to enjoy myself now while it lasts. I at least owe that to myself.

 

[Death Diviner]

Some effort that I put in is finally paying off a bit & an opportunity to go to university came my way. I took advantage of it & im having a nice time for the first time in many years. I finally escaped my parents house, & now I'm actually having new experiences, making friends, hanging out with people, challenging myself, etc. It's like my life finally started for the first time.

I have conflicting feelings though. I'm very scared that it won't last & everything will come crashing down & I'll go back to square one being all alone & hopeless. It also just all feels fake. I'm scared I will self sabotage because I get annoyed by people & want to be alone. I don't even have any plans for the future. I'm just trying to enjoy myself now while it lasts. I at least owe that to myself.

For now, enjoy the fruits of your labour, friend.