Venting Going to CTB on Thursday

[xostaticxo]

It's been a while since I posted and this will probably one of my last posts. I have made a decision to CTB on Thursday.

I've come to a conclusion that I am simply unlovable and that's how it'll always be.

My ex seems happy about everything. My suspicion is she's moved on and considering it wasn't even a week ago we broke up says everything I need to know.

My first partner: admitted to me she was with me because of convenience at one point.

My second partner: beat me up every day of my life (domestic violence happens to men too).

My third partner: seems to be happier without me in her life.

There is nothing for me to stick around for and I can't do life. I know exactly how, when and it's going to happen. I feel the blood rushing and a sense of final happiness as I do.

Whilst I have never been loved in that way, I certainly have felt love in that way for people.

I'm completely done now.

 

[highlyvolatile]

I am so sorry life's got you to this point. Im sorry about the partners youve had in the past too. Your 3rd partner sounds a bit similar to my previous one as well... I see you said in your post that you are unloveable, I can assure you that we here love you. If you do follow through with your ctb we will be here and if you dont we still will be here. I have similar feelings of feeling like you cant do life and theres nothing to stick around for. I cant quite find the words as a lot of what you said i also feel, but I am sorry that youre done. Heart break and breakups are hard to deal with. Especially if you have feelings leftover still....

(Completely unrelated: i love your mcr icon.)

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Breaking up sucks! Mixed feelings all over the place. If it were me, I'd decompress before I did something. I sound like a hypocrite tbh because I literally was about to do the same shit just last week. I'm glad I didn't jump on my heavy hurt emotions. If you need anyone to talk to just let me know. Regardless of your decision stay or go we'll be here for you!

 

[xostaticxo]

I am so sorry life's got you to this point. Im sorry about the partners youve had in the past too. Your 3rd partner sounds a bit similar to my previous one as well... I see you said in your post that you are unloveable, I can assure you that we here love you. If you do follow through with your ctb we will be here and if you dont we still will be here. I have similar feelings of feeling like you cant do life and theres nothing to stick around for. I cant quite find the words as a lot of what you said i also feel, but I am sorry that youre done. Heart break and breakups are hard to deal with. Especially if you have feelings leftover still....

(Completely unrelated: i love your mcr icon.)

Thank you, it just sucks. It feels like whatever I do, I just can't seem to be loved.

And yeah, we all gotta love MCR. Hopefully they wont get the blame for me CTB like they did with Hannah Bond.

Breaking up sucks! Mixed feelings all over the place. If it were me, I'd decompress before I did something. I sound like a hypocrite tbh because I literally was about to do the same shit just last week. I'm glad I didn't jump on my heavy hurt emotions. If you need anyone to talk to just let me know. Regardless of your decision stay or go we'll be here for you!

Thank you.