Hi all. I've decided I'm going to leave the forum for a while. As many of you will have already read, I am here primarily because of some health issues. Today I had a telephone doctors appointment, and they referred me to a specialist. The bad news is that I'll have to wait three months or more to see this specialist.
Ive decided I want to try and go on until after I have had this apointment in the hope that they either book me in for surgery, or give me some other way of dealing with the discomfort I'm going through.
I want to try and forget about the idea of suicide and try and have positive thoughts until then. I dont think that that is entirely possible, but I think that the best shot I have is if I stop using this forum. I've been viewing and posting here quite relentlessly over the past few weeks, and I just think I want to take a break and try and find a hobby or something in my life not reminding me of the idea of CTB. I wont necessarily be gone for three months or however long it takes for me to get this appointment with a specialist, just for a little while so I can try and change my perspective.
To be honest, I just think that three months is such a long time (a lot more than I was expecting) that the only way I will make it through without ending it all is if I can forget about the idea for a while, as since I already have my SN it would be really easy to just give up.
I just wanted to say thanks for all of the support and advice that people have given me of late. It's really helped, and I'll be grateful forever. I fully intend to come back at some point. Maybe that will be to say I'm booked in for surgery. Or maybe it will be to say that I'm back and need more support. Or maybe even that I intend to CTB.
I'll probably stick around for the rest of the day in the event that anyone wants to talk or anything, and then I'll be off for a while. After that. Once again, thanks everyone!
Since I am not CTB'ing yet or anything please dont ban me as I really would like to come back.
Ive decided I want to try and go on until after I have had this apointment in the hope that they either book me in for surgery, or give me some other way of dealing with the discomfort I'm going through.
I want to try and forget about the idea of suicide and try and have positive thoughts until then. I dont think that that is entirely possible, but I think that the best shot I have is if I stop using this forum. I've been viewing and posting here quite relentlessly over the past few weeks, and I just think I want to take a break and try and find a hobby or something in my life not reminding me of the idea of CTB. I wont necessarily be gone for three months or however long it takes for me to get this appointment with a specialist, just for a little while so I can try and change my perspective.
To be honest, I just think that three months is such a long time (a lot more than I was expecting) that the only way I will make it through without ending it all is if I can forget about the idea for a while, as since I already have my SN it would be really easy to just give up.
I just wanted to say thanks for all of the support and advice that people have given me of late. It's really helped, and I'll be grateful forever. I fully intend to come back at some point. Maybe that will be to say I'm booked in for surgery. Or maybe it will be to say that I'm back and need more support. Or maybe even that I intend to CTB.
I'll probably stick around for the rest of the day in the event that anyone wants to talk or anything, and then I'll be off for a while. After that. Once again, thanks everyone!
Since I am not CTB'ing yet or anything please dont ban me as I really would like to come back.
