For so long I wanted to die, I tried many methods and failed.
I have a method still yet to try (food grade nitrous oxide with anaesthesia mask) but now all of a sudden I have entered autopilot and I just feel numb about everything - I don't want to die, I don't want to live, I just want to exist without paying attention.
How long will this autopilot phase last?Am I in a recovery phase? I don't know, but it feels weird after being sure I wanted to die and having tried to kill myself several times.
Somedays I feel everything would be easier if I could just step off this earth and not have to go through these pointless cycles (I wouldn't mind sitting on the edge of the earth contemplating life and death).
I have a method still yet to try (food grade nitrous oxide with anaesthesia mask) but now all of a sudden I have entered autopilot and I just feel numb about everything - I don't want to die, I don't want to live, I just want to exist without paying attention.
How long will this autopilot phase last?Am I in a recovery phase? I don't know, but it feels weird after being sure I wanted to die and having tried to kill myself several times.
Somedays I feel everything would be easier if I could just step off this earth and not have to go through these pointless cycles (I wouldn't mind sitting on the edge of the earth contemplating life and death).
