I had some closer contact with women but no relationship till now :(
All cases hurt me in the end. Many women could not deal with my mental issues that fact makes me very sad. I fear this illness will always prevent me of having a gf (so this illness would cause my 3 main reasons to ctb most are irreversible) It is hard to find a possible gf if you are not very social as me.
One of my biggest wish in life is to have a partner. But maybe I should be careful what to wish for. Being rejected can hurt so much. I only approach women who might be very compassionate and understanding. For real I am only attracted to those kind of women. Maybe women with their own issues. But this could be counterproductive. One time I've met a dude in the clinic with a very compassionate, beautiful and loving partner. I was really jealous. He had a lot of side effects from his medication. He became fat, his facial expressions were very weird (due to the medication) and he indicated sexual problems.
I sometimes ask myself if they are still together. This girl must have really loved him despite his flaws.
On this forum I sometimes read that the partners make hurtful statements or even look down at the partner for his/her issues. I would be really scared about that. The last girl I had a crush on made a weird excuse for rejecting me. The real reason probably was the stigma of psychosis. If I come close to a woman she could really destroy the last self-esteem I call my own. I know a guy who ctb after his gf left him. (he had other issues too). I could imagine that for myself. Coming really close to a woman then being rejected. However this is not really realistic because even approaching women is very hard if you are kind of isolated like me.
All cases hurt me in the end. Many women could not deal with my mental issues that fact makes me very sad. I fear this illness will always prevent me of having a gf (so this illness would cause my 3 main reasons to ctb most are irreversible) It is hard to find a possible gf if you are not very social as me.
One of my biggest wish in life is to have a partner. But maybe I should be careful what to wish for. Being rejected can hurt so much. I only approach women who might be very compassionate and understanding. For real I am only attracted to those kind of women. Maybe women with their own issues. But this could be counterproductive. One time I've met a dude in the clinic with a very compassionate, beautiful and loving partner. I was really jealous. He had a lot of side effects from his medication. He became fat, his facial expressions were very weird (due to the medication) and he indicated sexual problems.
I sometimes ask myself if they are still together. This girl must have really loved him despite his flaws.
On this forum I sometimes read that the partners make hurtful statements or even look down at the partner for his/her issues. I would be really scared about that. The last girl I had a crush on made a weird excuse for rejecting me. The real reason probably was the stigma of psychosis. If I come close to a woman she could really destroy the last self-esteem I call my own. I know a guy who ctb after his gf left him. (he had other issues too). I could imagine that for myself. Coming really close to a woman then being rejected. However this is not really realistic because even approaching women is very hard if you are kind of isolated like me.
