NSFW Gallows Humor (Please share dark jokes) 😂🤣😅

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Another day on God's green earth. That's so petty of him...

 

[Electra]

I feel so welcome here <3 hugs to all!

 

[Electra]

 

[LukaParrot]

Why you should avoid suicide in new year?

It will take a long time to be attended.








Why a lot of suicidals lost interest in food and dont eat?
Because they dont want to make more "shit" in their lifes.

PS: Sorry.. i'm just venting about my life

 

[Electra]

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

From SNL:

Michael Che....

The Archdiocese of Los Angeles has reached a settlement in hundreds of child sex abuse cases and will pay out $880 Million.... An amount that priests called "Worth It"

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't normally watch the golden globes but Nicki Glaser was hosting. Should have been more of her than some of the presenters.

Some of the jokes she didn't use.

"This is the last time all of you will be in the same room together until the Diddy trial."

Other jokes Glaser cut included one mentioning Luigi Mangioni, the suspect charged with murder in the deadly shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.

"Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you'd only be the second hottest hit man in America," Glaser said, delivering the punchline.

I love Conclave, and I think it's about the cardinals choosing a new pope. And I think everyone should see it. It was so heartwarming. Honestly, it'll touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Conclave is rated PG, bring the kids. They'll love it. The Catholic Church will love it. Hot tip, you don't need ID to get into the Conclave afterparty."

Glaser held back on a joke about Alec Baldwin and the Rust incident that she said was "too mean" where the comedian would've said, "Michael Keaton was so great in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice and Alec Baldwin, sadly, did not come back to play a ghost because he was too busy making them."

"The film Anora is nominated for four awards tonight. It's been called the most unflinching look at sex work since Matt Gaetz's payment history."

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

 

[Electra]

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A homicidal and a suicidal patent are put in the same room in a psych ward.
The suicidal person says "well that makes 2 people that want me dead. "

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes..... And Then Life Shreads It & Throws It In A Blender

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

My wife told me she'll slam my head into the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried. I think she's jokinsdnbfjadskbngfsjkgbsafgfsgadfgdfgdf


I used to wonder why I'm here, but as I get older, I just hope the snacks are worth it.

 

[Forveleth]

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

The best part about irony is that it's always there when you least need it

 

[derpyderpins]

An ai review of this meme:

Based on the content and message of your meme, I'd rate it a 7 out of 10. Here's why:

• Concept: The meme explores the societal pressure to succeed and the concept of failure in a philosophical manner, which is engaging and thought-provoking. It juxtaposes the encouragement to fail with the reality of societal expectations, which is a clever narrative.
• Execution: The stick figure drawings are simple yet effective for conveying the message. The text is clear and readable. However, the meme could benefit from a bit more visual variety or perhaps a punchline in the last panel to make it more impactful or humorous, depending on the tone you're aiming for.
• Impact: It makes the viewer think about the paradox of failure and success, which is good for sparking conversation or introspection. However, the last panel's depiction of self-harm might be off-putting or too dark for some, which might limit its shareability or comfort level for some audiences.

Overall, it's a solid meme with a meaningful message, but the execution could be refined a bit for broader appeal or to soften the impact of the darker elements. If you want to make it more universally accepted, perhaps consider a different approach for the final panel that still conveys the pressure but in a less graphic way.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

The more I search for life's purpose, the more I realize I hate looking for things

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

They say life's what you make of it, but I've found that it makes a pretty good mess on its own

 

[maniac116]

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He said he will be OK. He just needs some space

 

[dontwakemeup]

I once seen a program where a college student overdosed on water and died. I tried to overdose and drank a gallon of water. I didn't die but I sure pissed all night

 

[Custos]

When is a priest's favourite part of a school day?

Spoiler: Answer

Just before the first period

 

[maniac116]

A minor got into a terrible accident & lost his entire left side!
Don't worry, he's "all right" now

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I've joined a support group for overthinking. We meet every night in my head

 

[maniac116]

A baby was born with just a head, no body.
He laid in his crib watching all the other kids playing outside & wishing for arms. He awoke the next morning with arms.
The next day he lay there wishing he had legs so he could run around like other kids.
The next day he awoke with legs.
So his mom let him play & run with the other kids outside. He was so happy.
The next day a car hit hit & killed him!
The moral to the story: Quit while your "a head"

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Every time I try to count my blessings, I calculate the odds of another disaster

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Patient: "Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Patient: "What? But I'm not dead yet!"
Doctor: "And we're not there yet."

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I bought a stress ball to relieve anxiety, but now I'm just stressed about squeezing it too hard

They say laughter is the best medicine, but that depends on what you're dying of

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A rolling stone gathers no moss... A standing stone is over my grave....

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

I find it weird how many people take the irony of life for granted. By the time they're old enough to understand it, they're too tired to care.