Venting friendships and suicide

[Life_and_Death]

i feel like a horrible friend for wanting to commit suicide. they care about me and all i want to do is die. i understand that part of caring is wanting me to not hurt and they understand that but from my end im leaving them........suicide is unfair for everyone. for as long as i want to die i can never be the friend i want to be.

 

[boc]

I feel you bud. It sucks. But you have to live your life for you. Your body your choice.

 

[EdibleGasMask]

I feel the same way. I feel like I can compensate with a note or something after I leave even though its still going to hurt for them. I've also distanced myself from them. I'm just trying my best to mitigate their pain that way im still trying to be a good friend and hopefully they'll see that.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I feel you bud. It sucks. But you have to live your life for you. Your body your choice.

Its not about that.

i understand that part of caring is wanting me to not hurt and they understand that

It's about feeling inadequate as a friend.

for as long as i want to die i can never be the friend i want to be.

For as long as I live, for as long as I want to die, I'll never be good enough for them no matter what I do to try to make up for my pain they put up with. If I die, it'll all be for nothing. I shouldn't have friends if I'm just going to hurt them

 

[FuneralCry]

It is understandable how you feel. It is why I have distanced myself from others really. To end our own pain, it passes it on to others. It is an awful feeling knowing that our actions are bound to hurt those that care about us.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Attachment is the root of all suffering.

its not about attachment

 

[Moose.000]

its not about attachment

Think about that a little longer.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Think about that a little longer.

i dont need to be told what my problems are

 

[Moose.000]

i dont need to be told what my problems are

You win.

 

[HideUnusualDecision]

I guess you aren't that much of a horrible friend if your friends still care about you and stick around you. And yes, suicide is unfair for everyone. Just like the life itself... Best wishes and whatever happens I hope you and your firends find your peace... and good luck on "being the friend you want to be" after all!