Friendship Advice

[Moroze]

Anyone else just feel beyond repair? Like no matter what you do, you can't get better. I am seeing people get better, recover, and move on, while I'm stuck in my pit hole of misery. The worst thing is that I feel like I am constantly dragging my friends down along with me. They don't understand me, but the friends that I made on this website are different. I can relate to so many people here. I am just so thankful that this website exists.

I know that I can't get better, yet some people are just unwilling to give up on me. I have been thinking of cutting off contact with my irl friends. They are refusing to accept the fact that I can't get any better, can't be "fixed." Life has been shit since the age of 16 (20 now). Any advice on how to deal with my irl friends? Do I just cut them off or what do I do? I tried explaining things to them so many times, yet with no success.

 

[tiger b]

What is 'repaired'? Is the feeling of it more important than any reality, anyway?

I'm not sure if I can be repaired, medically. Mentally, well I did my best for a long time and I'm not sure what comes next, would I purge myself of my stubbornness and spikiness (endearing features maybe!) I think I'd become a walking blank page. If I could summon up energy or delusions of progress...but that's just me. Zzzz.

I think cutting off your friend's heads is perhaps a step too far. Oh I misread that. I just think some people are who they are and if they accept something about you they may find unpleasant, they might have to acknowledge traces of it in themselves, and that might be...well, terminal! People care in different ways. Actually really listening without projecting...is difficult, and I hope I'm not making that ironic right now...

It depends if you're prepared to have them play a certain role in your life, given they don't really understand. It depends on your circumstances and whether you can accept those friends with limitations in an area you find important. Maybe their strengths lie in other areas, and maybe that's ok with you, but I get a sense it's not.

Understanding works both ways, and it's a shame that those feeling misunderstood or marginalised usually have to do all the understanding (because no other fecker will do it!)

 

[Adûnâi]

Well, I've never had a single friend to talk to, I'm curious how you got them.

 

[Moroze]

Well, I've never had a single friend to talk to, I'm curious how you got them.

College :(