Formerly attractive men: When you lost your looks or at least notice them fade, what did you notice?

[Kramer]

I noticed that women never actually liked me for who I was. They only looked me for how I looked. It was devastating. I always liked who I was deep down, and I thought those women could see it, but they didn't.

 

[Isadeth]

Then they didn't deserve your time or energy in the first place. Whether you're male or female, being objectified for your body is horrible. Inner beauty is by far more attractive. As cliché as it sounds.

 

[Kramer]

Then they didn't deserve your time or energy in the first place. Whether you're male or female, being objectified for your body is horrible. Inner beauty is by far more attractive. As cliché as it sounds.

To see inner beauty you have to accept outer beauty long enough to see the secret surprise inside (their personality).

 

[Isadeth]

To see inner beauty you have to accept outer beauty long enough to see the secret surprise inside (their personality).

I don't think that's entirely true. We can appreciate inner beauty of one another such as this site. No external view, instead we are all reliant on personality and social contributions.

 

[Amumu]

I had the opposite, I was ugly as fuck until 18 and then people began to say I was really handsome.
But by the time, the damage was made on my brain, I was already completely mentally-ill.
I was sequestered by my neighbours at 17 as well.
People treated me like trash as a minor and a little bit better after.

 

[Apathy79]

The changes are subtle. I went through a phase straight after school where I went from fit and healthy to very obese in like 3 years. Until my gf broke up with me, I literally didn't care. It barely affected me at all. When she broke up with me, suddenly it felt like I was never going to find someone else again. But with the weight gain and being so young, I had time to reverse it. By the time I did, I'd lost interest in finding a partner anyway, and just wanted to be fit enough to be able to go on long term hikes. Nowadays I mainly stay somewhat healthy because I like having the option to go on long hikes, but I sometimes let hygiene and things like that slip because what I look like just isn't a big issue. if you said I could have Brad Pitt looks or $20K, I'd take the $20K.

I think how it affects people depends on their life situation. I noticed with married guys that double in size, they usually barely care at all unless it's an issue for their wife or a health issue or they can't play with their kids, that sort of thing. They usually prefer they were fit but it's a low priority thing. I think for single people without much money trying to find a partner it's a bigger deal.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

As I got older, an interesting irony occurred: I cared less whether women were attracted to me and I made less effort to impress. I learned how to flirt respectfully and that it often doesn't mean anything. As a result, I became more confident and found engaging with women I was attracted to far easier, even if my looks have gone south for the winter. Now I feel more confident and more at ease, but I often go for days without talking to anyone at all so what's it worth? Ha!

 

[Symbiote]

"When my belly looked like I was 9 mos pregnant and I couldn't see my dick anymore."

When attracting members of the opposite sex I realized that people who go only for looks don't last as long as people who went with compatible personalities. Eventually everyone will hit a wall in their lifetime where attractiveness is replaced by the growing pains of life. You're no longer looking at asses and face, you're thinking about, "does this person complement me or can put up with me?" Being with an attractive person can get old because that's all they have at times, they look pretty around your arms, in photos, and social media. Who are you trying to impress? Your guy friends? Other ex's? At the end of the day, there's a person inside with emotions, both conflicting and real, using attractiveness as a facade to make life easier. If the person doesn't develop soft skills from the inside and learn the good and bad of being human, what's going to happen when the good looks fade away.

Don't rely on your physical attractiveness to get what you want.

 

[WornOutLife]

The first thing I noticed was a huge belly! lol

Well, now being serious, I realized that girls didn't come easy anymore and stopped talking to me.
Also, I noticed how FAKE humanity is, especially in social networks. I mean, just look at instagram! It's all about smiling faces and hot bodies but rather than sex, they want hearts! (likes) and followers.

One more thing to mention, although never happened to me because I'm a freelance teacher (well, I've become a NEET now), is that in job interviews, the cute girl or handsome guy has 100% more chances to get the job than the "ugly" one in spite of their expertise on whatever field they're applying for.

 

[Symbiote]

One more thing to mention, although never happened to me because I'm a freelance teacher (well, I've become a NEET now), is that in job interviews, the cute girl or handsome guy has 100% more chances to get the job than the "ugly" one in spite of their expertise on whatever field they're applying for.

Ever thought about teaching English in a foreign country? Like Vietnam or China? A friend went there, he's balding, fat, but white American/European and he's getting all sorts of women asking him out. And the kicker is he teaches shit English but they like him because he's the American white boy that they fantasize about due to western influences. Of course, in the end of the day, they're only dating you because of your race. Also the pay is very good over there. $4-5k a month will have you living in a penthouse in downtown.

 

[WornOutLife]

Ever thought about teaching English in a foreign country? Like Vietnam or China? A friend went there, he's balding, fat, but white American/European and he's getting all sorts of women asking him out. And the kicker is he teaches shit English but they like him because he's the American white boy that they fantasize about due to western influences. Of course, in the end of the day, they're only dating you because of your race. Also the pay is very good over there. $4-5k a month will have you living in a penthouse in downtown.

Wow, that sounds amazing! Might do it if I don't CTB next year.
I've taught English online on some chinese websites and the experience was awesome.

 

[Gaybonez]

The first thing I noticed was a huge belly! lol

Well, now being serious, I realized that girls didn't come easy anymore and stopped talking to me.
Also, I noticed how FAKE humanity is, especially in social networks. I mean, just look at instagram! It's all about smiling faces and hot bodies but rather than sex, they want hearts! (likes) and followers.

One more thing to mention, although never happened to me because I'm a freelance teacher (well, I've become a NEET now), is that in job interviews, the cute girl or handsome guy has 100% more chances to get the job than the "ugly" one in spite of their expertise on whatever field they're applying for.

In humanities defense. Social media isn't an accurate description of humans across the board. It's an example of human behaviors.

 

[262653]

In humanities defense. Social media isn't an accurate description of humans across the board. It's an example of human behaviors.

I'd add human behaviors which are seen on the public side of social media.

 

[VivaldiBR]

When I ended a relationship last year it was totally different compared to the last time I was single. I was very handsome until last year, but everything changed when I started to go bald. In my early 20 i was a pretty rocker lad and i was working so I didnt made any effort, many girls came to me. But nowadays, I've been rejected several times.

 

[WornOutLife]

How do you go about teaching English? I read a lot and write well. The mechanics of the language are absorbed automatically through reading for me, so I don't know if I could go on about the 'parts of speech' to a newbie.

Well, to start off, you gotta have the vocation.
It seems you have ease and absorb the language so you'd be an awesome student!

What I do for my students, is ask them what they're interesting in. Let's suppose X guy is interested in Fortnite. Well, I'll prepare lots of grammar, reading, listening and speaking lessons related to it. Fortunately, this method seems to work because they're motivated to learn more and more and all the theory structures they need to learn are kinda automatically absorbed.

All in all, I've been told I'm a nice teacher but still, my suicidal thoughts win and I wanna CTB.

 

[Kramer]

Well, to start off, you gotta have the vocation.
It seems you have ease and absorb the language so you'd be an awesome student!

What I do for my students, is ask them what they're interesting in. Let's suppose X guy is interested in Fortnite. Well, I'll prepare lots of grammar, reading, listening and speaking lessons related to it. Fortunately, this method seems to work because they're motivated to learn more and more and all the theory structures they need to learn are kinda automatically absorbed.

All in all, I've been told I'm a nice teacher but still, my suicidal thoughts win and I wanna CTB.

Good student but bad teacher?

 

[WornOutLife]

Good student but bad teacher?

I bet you'd be a nice teacher too. You just gotta find your best approach and get used to it.

 

[issyishere]

Former bodybuilder and was an instagram influencer at one point (kind of still am, I run a midsize page anonymously) I grew up being a very skinny child and was always the odd one out. I was bullied frequently and outcasted in elementary school. After middle school I was pretty much a hermit until my sophomore year when I decided i was done with it. I gained 40lbs in one year alone. The way I was treated was very different. People noticed my presence more when before I felt like a ghost. I got my first girlfriend in junior year and was pretty popular after high school. When I turned 20 my health took a turn for the worse and I lost all my gains and weight. I was treated like a pushover again. I began making an effort to take care of myself. Dressing sharply, fitted clothes, hair always styled etc. I was treated good again. The point I'm trying to make is, yes looks do play a role in how people percieve you but people just really notice a person who has their shit together if that makes sense. Basic hygiene and taking care of yourself can make a difference. Hope this helps

 

[Superdeterminist]

I really think that looks matter, and that they matter a lot. I don't consider myself particularly ugly, but the apparent primacy of looks in the world depresses me hugely, it's another good reason to ctb, imo. I could've been ugly, I'll definitely be uglier with age, and other people really do have to contend with being ugly, and in many ways that dictates the course of their whole life, I believe. These thoughts are crushing.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Yep this is a brutal truth as far as the mating game gos it is really about looks/primal instinct. I think its even less about money and the stability of the partner in this era of abundance. Aging is tough and one main reason why I will CTB. I am a decently good looking male but I know i will go downhill fast I don't wanna look like my elderly relatives