Venting Forced to postpone ctb date

[TrynaChingMyself]

I was planning to ctb very soon. I had everything sorted. My method is SN and I have gastro intestinal issues so I made sure I was in peak condition. I was perfect.

My phone broke in the early morning today. I need my phone for the day I ctb so I can't really do it without. I was pissed. Then the Internet stopped working at the exact same time and I couldn't change my plans around to deal with this last minute hurdle. I couldn't even find out how to fix my phone.

This day has been stressful but managed to push the date back a bit. But I'm not happy about it. What do I even do with myself for a week when I was ready for it to end? Now i have to start preparing my body for SN again. And I have to live when I don't want to. Not to mention the extra cost of changing things and fixing a phone. I can't even CTB correctly.

I hate life. I hate the universe. These coincidences will not stop me. I need the sweet release.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be really frustrating what you are going through. I feel like in this life it is really hard to make plans as the future is so unpredictable and uncertain. I wish that ctb is as easy as just choosing to never wake again. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[thischarmingman]

i hope everything works out for you. if you don't mind me asking- what does cbt and SN stand for? im new to the site

 

[TrynaChingMyself]

i hope everything works out for you. if you don't mind me asking- what does cbt and SN stand for? im new to the site

No worries, Catch The Bus and Sodium Nitrite

 

[london3]

I was planning to ctb very soon. I had everything sorted. My method is SN and I have gastro intestinal issues so I made sure I was in peak condition. I was perfect.

My phone broke in the early morning today. I need my phone for the day I ctb so I can't really do it without. I was pissed. Then the Internet stopped working at the exact same time and I couldn't change my plans around to deal with this last minute hurdle. I couldn't even find out how to fix my phone.

This day has been stressful but managed to push the date back a bit. But I'm not happy about it. What do I even do with myself for a week when I was ready for it to end? Now i have to start preparing my body for SN again. And I have to live when I don't want to. Not to mention the extra cost of changing things and fixing a phone. I can't even CTB correctly.

I hate life. I hate the universe. These coincidences will not stop me. I need the sweet release.

Really sorry to here about your phone breaking.

Sometimes life just disappoints us and its really frustrating and stressful. Try and get some rest and clear your mind for your next attempt, it is only a week delay so although it is frustrating it is better we give ourselves the time to do it properly.

Good luck on your next attempt and i am sure everything will be fine eventually.