StillBreathing
Student
- Dec 4, 2022
- 153
The more depressed I am the more I move from this thing that I'm doing to the next. I'll have 100 tabs in my browser open "for later". But that day never comes because by then I will be researching into something else, like new game (currently Dark Souls) or some weird topic. Some weeks ago it was mushrooms of all things.
No one like to discuss this but I do the same thing with porn, watching something new every minute not finishing anything. Before you know it I have been sitting there for several hours with nothing but blue balls accomplished.
Do I have some kind of ADHD or is it just the depression fucking with me? I am on the antidepressant Wellbutrin which helps quite a bit, so something is definitely up with my dopamine levels, craving more all the time. This sucks because work can be real frustrating when you are unable to focus. Even if I can sit by myself in a quite room, I find myself grabbing the phone every time it to see what's new. I really seem to delaying all the important things in my life by distracting myself from them, basically self sabotage. And I am aware of it when I do that..
Since my depression started I never care anymore about things that used to be important, relationships, friends, family, gym, games... Sure I can enjoy some of it from time to time. But it is very shortlived.
Hopefully something will get better with time.
No one like to discuss this but I do the same thing with porn, watching something new every minute not finishing anything. Before you know it I have been sitting there for several hours with nothing but blue balls accomplished.
Do I have some kind of ADHD or is it just the depression fucking with me? I am on the antidepressant Wellbutrin which helps quite a bit, so something is definitely up with my dopamine levels, craving more all the time. This sucks because work can be real frustrating when you are unable to focus. Even if I can sit by myself in a quite room, I find myself grabbing the phone every time it to see what's new. I really seem to delaying all the important things in my life by distracting myself from them, basically self sabotage. And I am aware of it when I do that..
Since my depression started I never care anymore about things that used to be important, relationships, friends, family, gym, games... Sure I can enjoy some of it from time to time. But it is very shortlived.
Hopefully something will get better with time.
