First time going to therapy

[ironrain]

I'm so cooked. If I don't like the conclusion of the therapist, I'll just off myself because all of this is getting worse and worse and fuck this shit, really. If only killing yourself wasn't so difficult, I just want an easy way out.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I really hope it goes well.

 

[Aflame5926]

I'm so cooked. If I don't like the conclusion of the therapist, I'll just off myself because all of this is getting worse and worse and fuck this shit, really. If only killing yourself wasn't so difficult, I just want an easy way out.

what was the conclussion?

the beginning of it always sucks tho. but maybe later it can help. no promises tho.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Good luck

 

[glass-petal]

i don't know your situation, but there are definitely lots of shitty therapists out there. that being said i wouldn't hinge everything on what just one therapist has to say about you. i'm sorry you've been struggling so much, and do hope you can find some peace from all the chaos.

 

[ironrain]

what was the conclussion?

the beginning of it always sucks tho. but maybe later it can help. no promises tho.

Don't know that, I'll tell you later

Good luck

Thank youuuu

i don't know your situation, but there are definitely lots of shitty therapists out there. that being said i wouldn't hinge everything on what just one therapist has to say about you. i'm sorry you've been struggling so much, and do hope you can find some peace from all the chaos.

Thank you. Yeah but I can't really afford therapy, so I do what I can

 

[idfwlnh]

Is everything good?
Someone I'm quite close with got a bachelor's degree on psychology or maybe higher I'm not sure, but they said it's somehow a rule in psychology that therapist should act somewhat like an anchor, a lighthouse instead of giving direct order or tell you do sth, so bare in mind that. It might not work in the beginning and you might not even like the therapist ways of saying, but it will be a long term goal to find your way to the lighthouse yourself.

 

[slapntickle]

If you've never told anyone what you're going through, it can be hugely therapeutic just to tell _someone_ who is paid to sit there, who you don't know (and who isn't part of your social or familial circle), and who is bound to some form of secrecy.

I just went to my first therapy session in many years last week and it does feel better that someone knows what I'm dealing with. I do feel better. It's not that I don't still feel suicidal or have stopped ideating (I ordered SN a little earlier!) but I feel better in and of myself. I'm interested as well to see how they progress with the therapy, and what kind of route we take.

 

[ironrain]

Is everything good?
Someone I'm quite close with got a bachelor's degree on psychology or maybe higher I'm not sure, but they said it's somehow a rule in psychology that therapist should act somewhat like an anchor, a lighthouse instead of giving direct order or tell you do sth, so bare in mind that. It might not work in the beginning and you might not even like the therapist ways of saying, but it will be a long term goal to find your way to the lighthouse yourself.

No, my life is a mess. I can't even afford normal therapy. It's therapy provided by my uni. I feel trapped. Don't really know to say, I just want to wake up and all of this to be a bad dream

If you've never told anyone what you're going through, it can be hugely therapeutic just to tell _someone_ who is paid to sit there, who you don't know (and who isn't part of your social or familial circle), and who is bound to some form of secrecy.

I just went to my first therapy session in many years last week and it does feel better that someone knows what I'm dealing with. I do feel better. It's not that I don't still feel suicidal or have stopped ideating (I ordered SN a little earlier!) but I feel better in and of myself. I'm interested as well to see how they progress with the therapy, and what kind of route we take.

Good for you. I'll see how it goes. I don't really care about my life. There's stuff I want but meh, I can only get like 1/3 of it, whatever. Dead, alive...

 

[slapntickle]

Good for you. I'll see how it goes. I don't really care about my life. There's stuff I want but meh, I can only get like 1/3 of it, whatever. Dead, alive...

Yeah I get that too. Even some bargain-basement Uni therapy might help you clarify what you want, how to get there etc. I'm starting to think that suicidal tendencies/ideation etc isn't 'curable' as such, it's just something one has to medicate and try and lessen - via therapy, friends, travel, work, etc etc. I'm pretty sure I will do it sooner or later, but I want to be informed and in a place where I've exhausted all the other options.

 

[ironrain]

Yeah I get that too. Even some bargain-basement Uni therapy might help you clarify what you want, how to get there etc. I'm starting to think that suicidal tendencies/ideation etc isn't 'curable' as such, it's just something one has to medicate and try and lessen - via therapy, friends, travel, work, etc etc. I'm pretty sure I will do it sooner or later, but I want to be informed and in a place where I've exhausted all the other options.

I wish you luck with getting help you need. Yeah, also once you think that you can kill yourself as a solution this door will always be slightly open. When I first thought about it it was so terrifying but a little relieving. Or not relieving. Idk how to explain this but it felt slightly right i guess

 

[slapntickle]

It's essentially an addiction in and of itself. I read this PDF a few months ago and it really resonated with me, I can't find it now to share with you, but it basically laid down how for a lot of people the planning around the method, the notes to leave, the organisational aspect etc is very addictive to just think about, and forms like a 'crutch' that gets us through the bad periods. The negative impact is that instead of thinking about work, about friends and family, or about future plans, we just mope around planning our deaths, and that has a negative impact on our real lives, and it's for this reason we should aim not to do this kind of thinking (ie if you want to do it then by all means go ahead, but don't waste months/years of being alive just planning your death). Makes sense to me honestly!