First day of individual therapy and AA

[injuredbongos]

"I vow to myself and to you that I will recover.
I really think I can do it & I WILL DO IT." -Venin, 20 August 2023

Good afternoon everyone. I just wanted to come online and share my experience with starting individual therapy today with a psychiatric nurse.

As some may know, I am currently giving treatment and medications alongside addictions recovery as "one last hurrah"--If I am unsuccessful in recovery, I intend to formulate an exit plan as morally responsible as I can through the information and community provided here.

That being said, I'm hopeful in my sense of logic regarding this situation, I just am still so despondent and empty feeling. And having not attended therapy in over 6 years made this an even more unfamiliar experience, but I am fortunate to have a counsellor who is very kind and gentle. We have decided to try DBT starting next week where I will go over a course of 4 modules that she will adjust to my needs as we go on. Besides this, I've signed up for group therapy and I start my first shift at a new job tomorrow. I am incredibly afraid, anxious, fearful, and overwhelmed meeting new people but I know I need to remain vigilante in my supports to cope effectively.

It's been a few hours since our first session together and I'm now at home doing a lot of house cleaning I neglected the past few days. At 5:25 PM today I will be joining an online AA meeting. If AA isn't sufficient, I will look for other addictions resources, but I'm willing to try everything over again and at least once. I think I am doing better in pushing myself and making the appropriate efforts to cope and get through this crisis, but I still feel very alone and afraid. This change is frightening and isolating, but it's supposed to make me feel better, right? I'm hoping if I keep doing this regimen and explore the opportunities available, something will break through. It's just very important to me to be able to talk about this life as horribly mentally ill with truly non judgmental folks who I know for a fact can relate--those who know me personally have stigmatized me and I have not been so kind or understanding. Here it's different. I don't have an ego or need for gratification: just a completely unconditional platform to talk about these special little walks of life. I also hope that I can be able to provide the same space to people who need it.

Lots of things are happening and my mind is running miles a minute, and I am grateful I can talk about it here. Thank you for listening.

I have quoted former member Venin as this thread has given me a lot of hope in the past few days, and I have come to admire the recovery side of SASU dearly.

"I will definitely succeed in living the way I want to live and in being who I truly am & want to be." -Venin, 20 August 2023

 

[ElTopo]

Good afternoon everyone. I just wanted to come online and share my experience with starting individual therapy today with a psychiatric nurse.

As some may know, I am currently giving treatment and medications alongside addictions recovery as "one last hurrah"--If I am unsuccessful in recovery, I intend to formulate an exit plan as morally responsible as I can through the information and community provided here.

That being said, I'm hopeful in my sense of logic regarding this situation, I just am still so despondent and empty feeling. And having not attended therapy in over 6 years made this an even more unfamiliar experience, but I am fortunate to have a counsellor who is very kind and gentle. We have decided to try DBT starting next week where I will go over a course of 4 modules that she will adjust to my needs as we go on. Besides this, I've signed up for group therapy and I start my first shift at a new job tomorrow. I am incredibly afraid, anxious, fearful, and overwhelmed meeting new people but I know I need to remain vigilante in my supports to cope effectively.

It's been a few hours since our first session together and I'm now at home doing a lot of house cleaning I neglected the past few days. At 5:25 PM today I will be joining an online AA meeting. If AA isn't sufficient, I will look for other addictions resources, but I'm willing to try everything over again and at least once. I think I am doing better in pushing myself and making the appropriate efforts to cope and get through this crisis, but I still feel very alone and afraid. This change is frightening and isolating, but it's supposed to make me feel better, right? I'm hoping if I keep doing this regimen and explore the opportunities available, something will break through. It's just very important to me to be able to talk about this life as horribly mentally ill with truly non judgmental folks who I know for a fact can relate--those who know me personally have stigmatized me and I have not been so kind or understanding. Here it's different. I don't have an ego or need for gratification: just a completely unconditional platform to talk about these special little walks of life. I also hope that I can be able to provide the same space to people who need it.

Lots of things are happening and my mind is running miles a minute, and I am grateful I can talk about it here. Thank you for listening.

I have quoted former member Venin as this thread has given me a lot of hope in the past few days, and I have come to admire the recovery side of SASU dearly.

Good luck with all of that, it's an impressive effort. Changes are scary but fear is one of the things that make you feel alive I guess, in retrospect I kind of enjoyed going through many fearful experiences.

 

[GeminiButter]

Good afternoon everyone. I just wanted to come online and share my experience with starting individual therapy today with a psychiatric nurse.

As some may know, I am currently giving treatment and medications alongside addictions recovery as "one last hurrah"--If I am unsuccessful in recovery, I intend to formulate an exit plan as morally responsible as I can through the information and community provided here.

That being said, I'm hopeful in my sense of logic regarding this situation, I just am still so despondent and empty feeling. And having not attended therapy in over 6 years made this an even more unfamiliar experience, but I am fortunate to have a counsellor who is very kind and gentle. We have decided to try DBT starting next week where I will go over a course of 4 modules that she will adjust to my needs as we go on. Besides this, I've signed up for group therapy and I start my first shift at a new job tomorrow. I am incredibly afraid, anxious, fearful, and overwhelmed meeting new people but I know I need to remain vigilante in my supports to cope effectively.

It's been a few hours since our first session together and I'm now at home doing a lot of house cleaning I neglected the past few days. At 5:25 PM today I will be joining an online AA meeting. If AA isn't sufficient, I will look for other addictions resources, but I'm willing to try everything over again and at least once. I think I am doing better in pushing myself and making the appropriate efforts to cope and get through this crisis, but I still feel very alone and afraid. This change is frightening and isolating, but it's supposed to make me feel better, right? I'm hoping if I keep doing this regimen and explore the opportunities available, something will break through. It's just very important to me to be able to talk about this life as horribly mentally ill with truly non judgmental folks who I know for a fact can relate--those who know me personally have stigmatized me and I have not been so kind or understanding. Here it's different. I don't have an ego or need for gratification: just a completely unconditional platform to talk about these special little walks of life. I also hope that I can be able to provide the same space to people who need it.

Lots of things are happening and my mind is running miles a minute, and I am grateful I can talk about it here. Thank you for listening.

I have quoted former member Venin as this thread has given me a lot of hope in the past few days, and I have come to admire the recovery side of SASU dearly.

Well done for this, it is big and a lot and very understandable that it was and is scary. A new job AND therapy AND AA groups all at the one time is a lot for anyone.

Therapy is supposed to make you feel better, but it doesn't happen quickly - it takes time, and in my experience (I've had a lot of different kinds of therapy over the years), it often means feeling worse before you feel better. Because you've got to confront and process the stuff that's going on in order to be able to get through it.

What you are doing is really admirable. I don't know you but I feel very proud and I am sending you lots of love - you've got this

 

[alwaysalone]

That's great. Good luck with everything. I think no matter your ultimate decision getting clean is always a good thing.

 

[injuredbongos]

That's great. Good luck with everything. I think no matter your ultimate decision getting clean is always a good thing.

Thank you for your kindness. I so appreciate it.

Good luck with all of that, it's an impressive effort. Changes are scary but fear is one of the things that make you feel alive I guess, in retrospect I kind of enjoyed going through many fearful experiences.

You're right. I think I have felt a strange enjoyment out of fearful experiences as well. Thank you for the well wishes. I hope you're well today! ️

Well done for this, it is big and a lot and very understandable that it was and is scary. A new job AND therapy AND AA groups all at the one time is a lot for anyone.

Therapy is supposed to make you feel better, but it doesn't happen quickly - it takes time, and in my experience (I've had a lot of different kinds of therapy over the years), it often means feeling worse before you feel better. Because you've got to confront and process the stuff that's going on in order to be able to get through it.

What you are doing is really admirable. I don't know you but I feel very proud and I am sending you lots of love - you've got this

That is so kind of you. I really appreciate your input. I often forget it's gotta get worse before it gets better, I'm so used to being in hour to hour survival mode. Thank you for being so supportive.

 

[Parasitism]

If AA isn't sufficient, I will look for other addictions resources,

Hopefully AA will work well. If you don't gel with it there are other programs. SMART recovery is more CBT focused so will fit in with your DBT. There are also Buddhist influenced recovery programs like Refuge Recovery and Recovery Dharma. Some people prefer these if they don't like the higher power stuff in 12 step programs. All three also have online meetings. Recovery Dharma is a most popular I think.