finding it really hard to trust in people

[inabsentia]

I'm in a super low place at the moment and it's becoming harder and harder to have any trust in my friends/family, or believe I have any meaning to them… I recognise how awful it is because essentially I'm making them out to be evil in my head, but it means I struggle so much to reach out or keep reaching out when they don't realise the extent of the problem. It doesn't help that I can't even really talk about my situation in full with many people at all.

And there's probably no intent but even the smallest things or comments cause me to completely doubt a person's intents and feelings about me. Yet I desperately just want to not feel so utterly alone. It's becoming such a nonstop struggle between desperation for validation, a fear of being abandoned but then also that repulsion and fear towards others I feel when any little thing seems to go wrong.

It's just so easy to convince myself I mean little to people or even that I'd be doing them a favour by leaving…

 

[Chiisai]

It hurts to keep it in you but you are wary who to confide your thoughts with, if I understood you correctly, then I feel you. I hope this forum will help you relieve even a bit of your burden. May you feel this forum as your safehaven.

 

[ClownMe]

I dont trust anyone in real life, my family has let me down so many times in the past and continues to let me down, and I have no friends.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally see it as best to not trust people, people can let us down and can be very disappointing. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I wish you the best.

 

[inabsentia]

It hurts to keep it in you but you are wary who to confide your thoughts with, if I understood you correctly, then I feel you. I hope this forum will help you relieve even a bit of your burden. May you feel this forum as your safehaven.

Thank you... I'd really like to. Even here I feel like I need to mask everything - I want to say things, but end up being cryptic. But at the very least it's a little easier here thanks to all the kind people and the fact that we can all relate on some level to one another.

 

[NormaJeane]

I live in a big town and some people here are lying about almost everything and they are unreliable too. Especially the crafsmen do not come when they say they will come.