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vexi

vexi

(_ _*) Z z z
Feb 17, 2023
18
I have been taking antidepressants for the past 5 years, from Prozac to Effexor. And only recently I have stopped taking them by accident.

Last month I had a mental breakdown and took multiple pills out of frustration, but then when it came to the end of the month I didn't have enough pills till my next psychiatrist appointment. So I had to suddenly stop since I couldn't just buy more without a prescription. And for those few days I felt like absolute shit, constant headaches and nausea, I could barely get out of bed without feeling sick. And I had encountered those symptoms many times before as I tend to forget to take my medication, and often had to rely on my parents to remind me. But it often worried me since what if I suddenly didn't have my medication for whatever reason, then what? Well the exact thing happened to me by my own hands. And well I expressed my concern to my psychiatrist only for her to increase my dose. After that I bought the medication but didn't take it, and for the past few days I've been feeling a lot better.

I for once felt happy, and not just the constant empty feeling. I have been finally motivated enough to start drawing again which I stopped doing for the past year. It was something that constantly made me feel angry with myself because I couldn't force myself to do something that I felt so passionate about for decades. And now that I'm finally able to get back into it, it made me so happy I cried.

I tried to google if there was any correlation with my sudden change and the antidepressants I was taking, and some articles say it can decrease motivation, but others suggest that it increases it instead. So I can't say for certain that it's all because of my meditation, but it's also true that after I stopped taking my meditation suddenly I felt a lot better.

My guess is that it suppressed all my emotions, both negative and positive, so I was left unmotivated and lacking any energy to change. And I haven't encountered anyone with similar problems so I'm very curious if anyone else had similar issues to mine.
 
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cicadafriend

cicadafriend

Member
Jun 13, 2023
65
I stopped taking my meds for a while and got my motivation back. I don't know if it's the brand but I didn't really notice that huge of a difference either way, except for when I stopped I seemed to have more physical energy. To be fair the withdrawal was rough for me too so I got back on them because it felt like I had to stick with it at that point.
 
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
1,141
So happy to hear you're feeling better! I am hoping for a similar outcome for myself, I'm reducing my meds this week and stopping them altogether next week, by my own hand. I don't know how it will go but I can't deal with the side effects anymore so I made this decision.

I agree with you that potentially the medication suppressed all emotions and left you feeling a shell of what you once were. I really hope you feel happier now that you can draw again, being creative is so important, it feeds our soul. I hope you have a great time, truly
 
cgrtt.brns

cgrtt.brns

wandering ghost (he/him)
Apr 19, 2023
844
thats great to hear ur doing better! be careful to keep an eye on ur mood tho, bc if ur meds suppressed ur emotions, if u encounter smthn that gives u negative emotions now they might be more powerful than ur used to, make sure ur equipped to cope if that happens. and if u end up feeling like u need to start taking them again its ok, do what u need to do to take care of urself. either way i hope this happiness continues for you.
im in a similar situation where i feel like my meds are ruining my creativity and motivation. i want to come off of them so bad, but my psychiatrist always pushes it back, saying "its not a good idea to come off them now, something bad might happen and u wont be able to cope" etc. ive tried stopping cold turkey a few times, but i always get rly angry and suicidal and end up taking them again. i dont think ive gone over a week without them for the last six years. ive been tempted to try stopping taking them again lately, i might start tomorrow and see how long i can go.
 

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