Sadpat
Grasping at straws
- Feb 8, 2021
- 32
As I slip further down the rabbit hole known as my declining mental state I find myself logging in less and less. Maybe my brain is sub consciously blocking one of the only outlets I've found from my daily routine. I finally managed the guts to order my SN and it should arrive soon. As the days go on the nerves are slowly going away along with the feelings of it being a selfish act. The only ounce of doubt I have left is my parents. My Dad is 74 and we have finally started to have a good relationship after 21 years, to the point when he almost crystal when we say goodbye to eachother, and my mom who has loved me unconditionally my entire life. But it seems as these thoughts are slowly slipping away as the reality sets in that I don't wish to be here any longer. I'm not sure if this will be my last post. I'm sure I'll log on a few more times to lurk as I always have before I formally set a date, but thank you to the people who have unintentionally kept me company in my lowest moments. I love you guys. Thank you.
