NorthAmericanQc
Experienced
- Feb 5, 2019
- 227
So, like I said in my precedent topic. "today might be a shit show" it's been a shit show.
Backstory from precedent topic:
I decided to go back home to get my SN.
After:
I argued with my dad, they called cops. I went downstairs to cut the phone wires and internet. I took my dmso and left. My dad come to pick me up, brought me back at home. I broke a glass table out of anger. 3 cops arrived. I did cooperate and answer all of their questions. They drove me at hospital in their Cops SUV.
Arrived at hospital, I did cooperate as well. I met the psychiatrist, she did read me like an open book. She explained me stuffs like I never thought about it before. It felt good. To be understood. Acknowledged. Important. I felt better. Really. She let me go after that.
I called my girlfriend. I told her I was sorry for how I made her feel probably shitty and unwanted. That I truly love her and I miss her. I asked her "Babe.. You know what we could do together. I would like to empty the DMSO bottle in the sink. I feel better now. I wanna get over it."
It's not romantic.. But.. Kinda at same time?
So.. I feel better. I decided to try harder. I'll take the time I need to heal and have a good life, hopefully with her, for a long time. She's so caring. She always talking to me so calmly and she's rational, she never screamed at me, even when she wanted my SN bottle. I love her for that. And for many other reasons.
This is my last post on this forum.
Tomorrow is a new day.
We will see on other side when my time will come.
I wish you all to get out of this torment and feel better at some point. But I don't judge anyone who want to pursue the suicide path. I've been there. I know how it feels. But try.. Try getting help. Just once more. It might be the good one.
Good luck everyone. I love you all. Be safe.
Backstory from precedent topic:
I decided to go back home to get my SN.
After:
I argued with my dad, they called cops. I went downstairs to cut the phone wires and internet. I took my dmso and left. My dad come to pick me up, brought me back at home. I broke a glass table out of anger. 3 cops arrived. I did cooperate and answer all of their questions. They drove me at hospital in their Cops SUV.
Arrived at hospital, I did cooperate as well. I met the psychiatrist, she did read me like an open book. She explained me stuffs like I never thought about it before. It felt good. To be understood. Acknowledged. Important. I felt better. Really. She let me go after that.
I called my girlfriend. I told her I was sorry for how I made her feel probably shitty and unwanted. That I truly love her and I miss her. I asked her "Babe.. You know what we could do together. I would like to empty the DMSO bottle in the sink. I feel better now. I wanna get over it."
It's not romantic.. But.. Kinda at same time?
So.. I feel better. I decided to try harder. I'll take the time I need to heal and have a good life, hopefully with her, for a long time. She's so caring. She always talking to me so calmly and she's rational, she never screamed at me, even when she wanted my SN bottle. I love her for that. And for many other reasons.
This is my last post on this forum.
Tomorrow is a new day.
We will see on other side when my time will come.
I wish you all to get out of this torment and feel better at some point. But I don't judge anyone who want to pursue the suicide path. I've been there. I know how it feels. But try.. Try getting help. Just once more. It might be the good one.
Good luck everyone. I love you all. Be safe.
