Never Free
Student
- Feb 6, 2019
- 177
If my mind makes me say things I think I shouldn't would not caring make me not have the urge to say them? Only I can't make myself not say them. Also that could result in more violence, ridicule, contempt, punishment. They didn't believe that I couldn't control it. They believed my apathy easier. Only I didn't believe it. So I was stuck. I became jaded. Every time I tried to figure it out. If words were just words then ideas were offensive, my mind told me to say offensive ideas too. I made jokes to some success to ease the tension. My mind just makes me keep pushing it. When I'd bite my tongue literally the middle finger kept automatically coming up. People didn't believe me when I didn't have a name for it. They still largely don't. Does it matter? Have I just become callous? That's it. That's why I'm trapped. That's the main underlining reason apparently people suicide. Yet what do they offer us? More entrapment. Drugs that don't work. A place for them to look down from their pedestal. Condescending counselors.
