Fight or flight mode fucking up my short term memory.

[StateOfMind]

In the last month I have come increasingly / incrementally closer to ctb.
This is almost all I can think about and feels like an early onset of dementia.
Any one feel similar?

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I do find that some areas of my mental strength, for lack of a better word, suffer as I start to focus more on dying, memory being one.

 

[MiserableBastard1995]

Complex PTSD here. I don't remember 90% of my life to date. Don't know how to put it into words, but I certainly understand, especially about wondering if one has some early-onset degenerative condition.

 

[ihavetoleave]

Every time I think about something in a positive way, or think about anything really, I have to kick myself mentally and tell myself that I have to CTB and I have too many problems to waste a moment thinking about these things. I can't fix my life and more bad is coming, CTB is the only way to get out of what is coming for me. In that sense yes, very similar to what you say about thinking about it constantly. It colors everything I do during the day/night from what I dream about, to what I think about when I wake up, to what I focus on before I go to sleep.

 

[Spitfire]

Complex PTSD here. I don't remember 90% of my life to date. Don't know how to put it into words, but I certainly understand, especially about wondering if one has some early-onset degenerative condition.

Gotcha it is probably something similar here with me too?

 

[deadspirit]

I know what you mean, I feel like constantly thinking about death and suicide kind of puts you in a trance where you can't focus or think about anything else. When I get like that I start dissociating pretty hard

 

[L951788]

My life feels like a blur. Same as that C-PTSD person above. Personally I don't even care and would maybe even welcome some degenerative condition.

 

[Rue89]

I think that both my constant anxiety and constant thinking about death have contributed to my shitty short-term and long-term memory. I can't remember a lot about my past, not details anyway. Mostly vague memories of events, but not specifics. I also have trouble retaining new information. It seems like a lot of the memories that really stick are bad ones. I guess it makes sense. When the same thoughts keep going through my head they start pushing everything else out.