Feeling ready to embrace it

[SpaceCadet]

I don't fear death or suffering before ctb, why do i feel like waiting? Wish i had an anwser, if i believed in God or religion maybe i could make peace with this, i don't understand the 1% doubt in my mind.

 

[Red Scare]

I know the feeling. Especially having what you need to do it... I dunno what's holding me back at this point. I thought I need to get things in order, give my family time to prepare (by dropping subtle hints of how unhappy I am, and spending more time with them than usual, because they won't ever get to see me again). But I dunno. Beyond that, I am just having trouble deciding on a date. Either my upcoming birthday, in may, or the anniversary of my husbands death in July. I was planning for his birthday, it was in March, but I didn't get what I needed in time and I realize that would have been impulsivity and poor planning, and I really should spend this time getting some of my affairs in order so that it's easier on my dad to deal with (he'll be my immediate next of kin, so he'll be the one having to deal with the brunt of it, I want to make it as easy on him as possible).

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not fear death as well, it is all that I look forward to. Death is very comforting as nothing can hurt me when I am dead. I am at peace with the idea of dying, but I am only still here as it is so difficult to leave.