feeling like i might relapse

[idlegirl]

feel myself slipping into the darkness again. I'm getting really sick of this! on top of that the physical pain i get isn't helping. i'm tapering off these meds because they're messing with my head so i know it's probably just that, but it's so hard not to just sink into the familiarity of depression and suicidality. only thing is, i can't be fucked dealing with hospitals and all that again. best to just keep this to myself.

 

[Spiked_Coffee]

I dont know what to say and how to help. I wont tell it will be easy, it wont. Maybe you should look for a psychoterapist, but not after med school but with phd. They wont do anything until you say that you are suicidal, so you just dont say it, talk about everything else that is bothering you. They wont do a single thing until you verbally say it. I am sorry if i am not helping.

 

[idlegirl]

I dont know what to say and how to help. I wont tell it will be easy, it wont. Maybe you should look for a psychoterapist, but not after med school but with phd. They wont do anything until you say that you are suicidal, so you just dont say it, talk about everything else that is bothering you. They wont do a single thing until you verbally say it. I am sorry if i am not helping.

thanks for your response. anyone saying anything remotely positive is helpful. i finished my NHS allocated 20 sessions back in march. I may reapply but i won't be seeing anyone until the autumn considering the waiting lists. i could also pay out of pocket but i can't afford it really. i will just have to wait it out unfortunately, and try not to fall down the hole of despair!!!