Manicpixiedreamlast
Member
- Mar 10, 2020
- 25
As I am typing this my family are coming over to my flat for pizza and these shitty feeling of guilt and shame came over me.
I'm planning to CTB within the next few months and right now this over whelming feeling for guilt came flooding over me. I don't think any of my family would be able to forgive them selfs once I CTB. At the end of the day it's my choice and the idea for being alive for someone self is not a positive thing.
I don't want my family to think back on my last month and wonder how they did not see the signs.
I've tried to get help for my mental health a few years ago but all I got was abuse from a system that's ment to help us.
Next week I have a gp appointment, I'm going to ask for the medication need for SN. I'm also thinking about trying to get diazepam or an antipsychotic, just incase the SN does not work.
I'm planning to CTB within the next few months and right now this over whelming feeling for guilt came flooding over me. I don't think any of my family would be able to forgive them selfs once I CTB. At the end of the day it's my choice and the idea for being alive for someone self is not a positive thing.
I don't want my family to think back on my last month and wonder how they did not see the signs.
I've tried to get help for my mental health a few years ago but all I got was abuse from a system that's ment to help us.
Next week I have a gp appointment, I'm going to ask for the medication need for SN. I'm also thinking about trying to get diazepam or an antipsychotic, just incase the SN does not work.
