Venting Feeling frustrated that I can't die easily

[Rathard]

I wish I could just die, but not even dying is easy, my preferred method would be jumping as it would be the easiest and least painful [in my mind, anyways] but there are no high up places in my country at all apparently (Czechia), that wouldn't be public lookout towers, any tall building would be in a populated area, and the last thing I want is to inconvenience anyone with my death, ideally I'd want to die somewhere remote where no one will find me, I thought of electrical relay towers but we don't have any tall ones either apparently, I wish there was a simple way of searching for jumpable locations, but no list obviously exists, I even asked ChatGPT but he sucks, every other method seems painful, hanging, drowning, i can't buy any funny drugs online, I'm not even depressed I just want to die and at least I want to choose how I die

 

[bloominghopelessne]

I feel the same. Your method is also my only one; everything else is just assumptions I wouldn't want to resort to, though it seems that at some point I'll have to choose those final methods that bring a sense of numbness. Jumping is difficult too. I've had chances to do it, but it's hard to overcome. When you plan it with full determination, there's no impulsiveness left the very thing that might have helped

 

[Lily6759]

Hanging is scary to think about for a lot of people. But doing it right with partial in my experience is rarely painful.
Full hanging can be though, which is partially why I am yet to attempt a full hanging.

 

[Rathard]

Hanging is scary to think about for a lot of people. But doing it right with partial in my experience is rarely painful.
Full hanging can be though, which is partially why I am yet to attempt a full hanging.

I had a friend who tried to hang himself many times, he told me how it feels and that each time he'd get closer but not enough, he eventually got past that threshold in his successful attempt, how different does hanging actually feel, from just attempting it to actually going through with it

 

[Lily6759]

I had a friend who tried to hang himself many times, he told me how it feels and that each time he'd get closer but not enough, he eventually got past that threshold in his successful attempt, how different does hanging actually feel, from just attempting it to actually going through with it

Depends on your definition of what "just an attempt" to actually going through with it is.
An attempt to me feels wrong in the sense that I don't get the tells, being that numb fuzzy feeling in your body (similar to like, just after you hit your funny bone and ur fingers feel fuzzy), Or the rope can feel uncomfortable because its too low. But when you get right, you don't feel pain, your body feels numb, then your vision will fade, for me after that I start to hear voices, then a dream sequence usually plays, and after that blackout. It then just becomes a question of if you get saved or not after that.

Mentally though, the difference between my failed attempts and my close to successful ones has been about whether or not I have even the tiniest spark of hope for something to change in the future. When that's gone, the SI usually goes with it.

 

[knickknack81]

I wish I could just die, but not even dying is easy, my preferred method would be jumping as it would be the easiest and least painful [in my mind, anyways] but there are no high up places in my country at all apparently (Czechia), that wouldn't be public lookout towers, any tall building would be in a populated area, and the last thing I want is to inconvenience anyone with my death, ideally I'd want to die somewhere remote where no one will find me, I thought of electrical relay towers but we don't have any tall ones either apparently, I wish there was a simple way of searching for jumpable locations, but no list obviously exists, I even asked ChatGPT but he sucks, every other method seems painful, hanging, drowning, i can't buy any funny drugs online, I'm not even depressed I just want to die and at least I want to choose how I die

Jumping has been one of the methods I have considered. I'm lucky to live in a place with many tall hotels with balcony access that would make this more accessible than other spots. Although SI in this situation can be a really difficult thing to deal with from what I am told. I know everyones body and mind are different but from what people have said, many a times they have attempted to jump their body will freeze and shut down on them, or their mind will go into a state of manic making the act almost impossible to pull off. Im not saying this is the case for everyone just something to consider as it comes up a lot. Its something I think about quite often.

 

[Rathard]

Jumping has been one of the methods I have considered. I'm lucky to live in a place with many tall hotels with balcony access that would make this more accessible than other spots. Although SI in this situation can be a really difficult thing to deal with from what I am told. I know everyones body and mind are different but from what people have said, many a times they have attempted to jump their body will freeze and shut down on them, or their mind will go into a state of manic making the act almost impossible to pull off. Im not saying this is the case for everyone just something to consider as it comes up a lot. Its something I think about quite often.

I would never consider doing it anywhere public, dying just to traumatize someone innocent, a child maybe, is just evil in my eyes, at least I want my death to be as unintrusive on others as possible, I know no one will care if I die and I don't want to hurt anyone with my death, I've only been high up on public lookout towers, I didn't have the chance to attempt but I know if I had the time I could do it, I'm very mentally unstable, how I feel and think changes hourly, if I had the time to listen to sad music and act on the opportunity of being in the right weak mental state I could, I just wish I knew how to find a spot.... :[

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand as all I want is to never suffer again and I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing and finally be free from this torturous, futile existence I never would had chosen, I see so much cruelty in how the option to die peacefully that is guaranteed is denied, I hope you find peace.