I'm sitting under the stars. My feet in a warm salted pool at my estranged fathers. I wasn't invited last year, because his wife is the devil. But this year I was "granted access" with an invitation because my birthday is this week.
I want to drown. I want to just take a shit load of pills and go in the pool. How ironic, to die at someone's house because they are one of the main reasons. He tries.... maybe. But his wife always wins.
But I can't. Why the hell am I still here? I'm not living for me. When people say I have to be alive.... for what?!?!
I'm so alone. My heart hurts. I can't do it
I want to drown. I want to just take a shit load of pills and go in the pool. How ironic, to die at someone's house because they are one of the main reasons. He tries.... maybe. But his wife always wins.
But I can't. Why the hell am I still here? I'm not living for me. When people say I have to be alive.... for what?!?!
I'm so alone. My heart hurts. I can't do it
